how to prevent hurricanes

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If you know much about weather, you know that mankind does not possess the ability to stop a hurricane.  Hurricanes are kinda like a migraine headache in that regard — unstoppable once it gets going.  In fact, a migraine feels kinda like a hurricane in your head.  Or a tornado.  But I digress.

Anyway, we cannot stop a hurricane once it gets started.  I’ve heard that Hurricane Katrina contained the energy equivalent of 150,000 atomic bombs, and released enough of that energy to power the United States for a year.  Amazing!   If only we could capture a fraction of that power.  But that’s another discussion.  (I almost digressed again…)

satellite photo of Hurricane Jeanne from 2004So obviously the key to stopping a hurricane is to prevent it from forming.  That may sound impossible, and it almost is, but I learned from The Discovery Channel where hurricanes (affecting the U.S.) come from.  The whole process starts from hot, dry air from the Sahara Desert.  Pockets of that hot, dry air get released over the ocean about every three days, and then convection and evaporation and condensation and stuff take place, and hurricanes are formed.  So one possible solution would be to destroy the Sahara Desert.   I know, that sounds crazy, but think about it — the climate of the Sahara is such that its inhabitants have to live elsewhere.  So who would it inconvenience?  It would save a lot of money when we don’t have destructive hurricanes!

I can see some people opposing that plan.  Fortunately there’s another potential way to stop hurricanes.  During the convection process, clouds form and begin to rotate because of the rotation of the Earth.  So obviously if we stopped the Earth’s rotation, that would prevent hurricanes from forming.  However, this plan would have some major side-effects, like perhaps altering gravity, and we might lose the Moon.  I’m sure some other bad things would happen too, so I can see this idea being vetoed.

Perhaps instead of destroying the Sahara Desert, we should just cover it with solar panels to capture the heat.  And since the Sahara Desert is one of the hottest places in the world, this could also reduce global warming, and it would be a clean, green, unlimited, renewable energy solution.  Sounds perfect, right?  That could be quite expensive, which is probably why it hasn’t been done.  But it would produce untold amounts of clean energy, which everyone wants these days.  Since a large up-front investment is needed, you can start sending in donations, and I’ll do this whenever I get enough money, and it’ll be a win-win for everyone.  You can give using various denominations of cash, check, credit card, and bacon.

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3 responses »

  1. what if we just placed something like a giant spoon in the ocean to stir it the opposite direction of the hurricane? that might dissipate the storm. of course, you’d only want this to be stirring the ocean during hurricane season or it might have the unintended side effect of creating hurricanes that spin in reverse. I doubt that’d be a good thing.

  2. Pingback: you can help us prevent hurricanes « Buffet o' Blog

  3. I vote for blowing up the Sahara Desert! We already have more bombs than we need, so it wouldn’t cost much. What are we waiting on???

    Maybe I’ll create a doomsday device just for this project, then make a documentary showing how it saved billions in damages from hurricanes AND reduced global warming. I’ll make millions off this movie (a la Al Gore), then win a Nobel Peace Prize for it, then write a book or two for millions more dollars, and speak at various conferences for a hefty fee. Then I’ll have the necessary budget to assemble my minions and take over the world! MUWAHAHAHA!

    BTW, the irony is not lost on me that I would save the world and then take it over… it would make a great movie… hmm… MO’ MONEY! MO’ MONEY! MO’ MONEY!

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