Who is Valentine’s Day for?

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Valentine's Day card - vintage, 04It’s Valentine’s Day again, and you know what that means.  This is one of those holidays with certain expectations, and it can cause great distress and disappointment in the relationship if those expectations aren’t met.  Let’s take a lighter look at that…

If you’re a man with a wife or girlfriend, you’re typically expected to buy her a nice (sappy) card, give her chocolates and roses (which are inconveniently greatly inflated in price during February), and take her on a romantic date.  These aren’t all bad things.  I’m not anti-Valentine’s Day or anything like that.  It’s good to show appreciation to your significant other, and we tend to take our loved ones for granted.  I don’t particularly like the idea of it being “forced” on a certain day, but it’s a good reminder.

So the woman in the relationship gets showered with nice stuff, like she deserves, because we cherish her.  What are the expectations going the other way?  Well, guys typically get a card, which may not mean as much as it would to a woman.  Now before you accuse me of being selfish, it’s not about that.  I don’t care about getting more gifts.  I just wonder who created these expectations and how many people are aware of how it is.  Why are they this way?  That topic is beyond the scope of this discussion, but it’s a good thinking exercise if you’re interested.

Maybe we should start some new traditions, for the guys.  What kind of affordable stuff would guys want to receive every year and which would also make them feel loved and appreciated?  (That “affordable” modifier limits the ideas, so no monster trucks or flamethrowers or tanks.  But we need to be practical, I suppose.)  For starters, how about cheese dip?  Either homemade or Stoby’s cheese dip would suffice (plus no comments about how it’s not healthy or that a tub of cheese dip is not a meal by itself).  Bacon should probably be included in this.  Maybe chicken-fried bacon for dipping in the cheese dip?  Just imagining that probably makes you gain weight…

I figure most guys would like a time of playing video games, since that time typically gets dramatically reduced when in a relationship (and more when married and even more when you have children).  This may not seem practical, since the day is about quality time in the relationship, and that’s fair.  It could be applied the next day.  Or the woman could join him in the games, if they can find something they both enjoy.  That would probably count as quality time, to him anyway.

These ideas might not fly, but that’s okay.  I can dream, right?  :)  If you have any ideas, I’m open to suggestions.  (Your comments can be anonymous if you’re scared of getting in trouble for speaking out on this.)

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3 responses »

  1. To further the thought of who Valentine’s Day is for, I understand showing extra appreciation to your significant other, but what’s up with sending cards and presents to parents, siblings, aunts, friends, etc.? Are they all supposed to be my valentine? Am I missing something?

  2. Yesterday (Valentine’s Day), my wife came home for lunch, holding something behind her back. She told me to close my eyes and open my mouth, and she inserted a chip with Stoby’s cheese dip on it. She also brought chicken quesadillas, too. She doesn’t read this blog, and I hadn’t said anything about it, yet she brought me cheese dip. That is further evidence that I have a good wife!

  3. I agree that valentines day is as good reminder to show appreciation for your wife/girlfriend. I’m sure most of us guys fall a little short when it comes to showing their girl they love & appreciate them. sadly many of the things they do for us start to get taken for granted. so i’m all about showering extra attention on them, cause they deserve it. I do hate the ‘valentines day’ as a holiday has became so commercialized though. on to the other thought you touched on about “what about the guy”, maybe a good idea would be designate the next day (or a day soon thereafter) as a day to celebrate the other relationships in your life, and spend time with those friends. for instance if valentines day falls on Thursday the 14th (as it did in 2013) the Friday the 15th or Thursday the 21st would be hailed as an official ‘holiday’ for close friends. The expectation is that you would go spend time doing stuff with your friends that you normally don’t get to do (i.e. play video games, eat bacon dipped in cheesedip, etc). this ‘holiday’ could work for the guys & the girls, of course arrangements would have to be made if you have children, but isn’t that why God created babysitters? anyway, that’s just my 2 cents, I think we need a reminder to maintain the other (worthwhile) relationships in our life as well. When you get into different phases of your life (like marriage, & kids) it’d be easy for those other friendships to start and slip away if they are maintained. & that too would be a travesty! i hope when i’m 80 I can still get together & spend time with my friends, cracking jokes & playing games like “hide the walker”, & “who passes gas in the oxygen mask”. :)

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