2008 hot dog eating championship

On July 4th every year, there’s a hot dog eating competition which brings out the world’s best at such things.  This year, former world record-holder Takeru “The Tsunami” Kobayashi tied with defending champion Joey “Jaws” Chestnut.  Get this — they each ate 59 hot dogs (with bun) in 10 minutes.

At this news site, you can watch a video of the competition, but I would advise against it.  It might sound neat to discuss this, but it’s not so fun to watch it.  Really…

The winner gets a one-year supply of hot dogs from Nathan’s.

Joey Chestnut, wolfing down the hot dogs

Anyway, back to the 2008 competition.  I had the misfortune of watching it this year because the people whose house I was at decided to watch it for some reason.  The two former champions tied, so we were wondering what should happen.  One of us had the idea that they should have a race across a football field, lengthwise, to see who wins.  That would be funny to watch them try to run after consuming 59 hot dogs in just 10 minutes.  (They’d probably need to censor out the ensuing vomiting.)  But instead of this, they had a “dog off” where the one who had 5 more first won.

Also, there were quite a few contestants that weren’t even close.  As far as I saw, none of them stopped eating early.  I’d think they’d stop the torture if they saw the scoreboard and noticed that they were 10 hot dogs behind already.  Why would they keep going?  But maybe they wanted to say they did their best.

President Bush doesn’t care about white people

I’m sure you remember when Hurricane Katrina flooded New Orleans and thousands of homes were destroyed, and activists like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton were all over the TV news saying it’s President Bush’s fault, that he didn’t do enough about the insufficient levees and that he didn’t visit there quick enough and he didn’t get all the people out of the flooded areas.  Bush took a lot of blame for that situation, and some of the activists were saying he didn’t care about black people.

flood in the Midwest

Well, now the Midwest has flooded, including almost all of Iowa.  Thousands of homes and businesses have been destroyed because of torrential rains plus broken levees, and it continues to get worse.  Also, thousands of acres of food crops were destroyed.  Was George W. Bush there the next day to visit?  No.  (He was in Europe, but maybe he should’ve got over here right away.)  Did he fix the levees before the storms to protect all those white people and their crops?  Nope.  Has he sent money to the people who didn’t buy insurance to protect their property?  No.  So what’s the deal?  Obviously, President Bush doesn’t care about white people.  It’s so clear now.  He is prejudiced against Caucasian-Americans and European-Americans.

But where is the outrage?  Millions of people have been affected by this flood in the U.S. Midwest, and where are the white activists?  Who will stand up for these people?  Doesn’t anyone care?  Who will hold Bush and the government accountable?

So by now you might have guessed that this is satire.  Although, the facts are based on actual news, and there is a parallel between Hurricane Katrina and the flooding in the Midwest.  But there was advance warning and predictions about what happened in New Orleans, Louisiana.  So why is one a greater outrage than the other among the political and racial activists?

You can draw your own conclusions…

paper made from elephant poop

Did you know that some paper is made from elephant poop?  ‘Tis true!  It’s called “elephant dung paper”.  Who would’ve thought of doing this?  Here’s the story:

The man behind the paper is Mr. Wanchai. On his way home from work he used to pass a natural paper factory and was impressed at the simplicity of the process that used natural tree fibers to make high quality hand made paper. He then took a trip to the Thai Elephant Conservation Center in Lampang Northern Thailand and saw piles and piles of dung. He looked at the dung and noticed that the dung was very fibrous. This was the birth of the idea.

The next step was to take home a carload of dung to his house. His wife was amused and at this stage very patient. Try as he could he could not get the paper just right. He used the family food processor to cut the long fibers to a shorter length — his wife finally lost her patience.

I can see someone getting upset with putting poop in the food processor.  I’d be leery of using it for food ever again, no matter how much cleaning.  Anyway, as you might imagine, he eventually figured out the process, and now sells it.  You can read more at the official website: the history of Elephant Dung Paper.

This is good for the environment, I reckon — they’re taking waste and making a useful product with it.  And each elephant produces enough poop for about 115 sheets of paper a day.

That isn’t the only company that does this, either.  There’s another one that makes “Poo Poo Paper“.  They use “naturally dried elephant dung”, then they rinse it off, then put it in boiling water, then add some fruit fibers, then separate it into “cakes” or “wafers”, and then let it dry.  They can make about 25 large sheets of paper from one turd.

Would you buy Poo Poo Paper or Elephant Dung Paper to help save the environment?

clogged toilet on space station

In the news today, the toilet on the International Space Station is clogged and broken.  One source said it’s a “fabrication flaw” in the toilet’s compressor units.  NASA said the equipment isn’t providing enough suction on a regular basis.  So in other words, it doesn’t suck enough.  Or I guess you could say it sucks at sucking. 

The news article says “this is no laughing matter”, which is an understatement for those on board the space station because they may have to start using plastic bags.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t laugh at it. 

But what’s not funny is the cost of the toilet.  Granted, it’s a high-tech toilet, because in space there is no gravity, so you need some type of fan-based vacuum system.  But wait ’til you hear the cost — $19 million! And NASA bought this from Russia, because they said it was cheaper than building their own.  Also, this toilet is also like a local municipal treatment center, because it recycles the urine into drinking water.  So it’s definitely high-tech.  But $19 million?!?  I know there’s a lot of smart people at NASA, so surely they could come up with something cheaper.

How stupid can one criminal be?

Are stupid people more likely to be criminals?  Or are criminals more likely to be stupid than smart?  I reckon it’s something like that, because it just seems like most criminals are extremely stupid.  For instance, just this month, a man in Texas either didn’t think his plan through or he is too ignorant to realize how stupid it was.  You be the judge.

Charles Ray Fuller must have been planning one big record company.

The 21-year-old North Texas man was arrested last week for trying to cash a $360 billion check, saying he wanted to start a record business, authorities said.  Tellers at the Fort Worth bank were immediately suspicious — perhaps the 10 zeros on a personal check tipped them off, according to investigators.

He also was unlawfully carrying a gun and had marijuana with him.

Did he really think he could cash a check for that much money?  Did he realize that no one in the world has that much money or anything close to it?  (A few companies do, but this forged check was from his girlfriend’s mother.)  I think it’s safe to say that very few banks in the world have that much money.  I also think it’s safe to say this guy probably can’t even count to 360 billion.

Is it possible that this man has an I.Q. of 0?

a new robotic suit, plus some enhancements

In the news, a man has created the world’s smallest helicopter.  I’d like one of these.  It sure would be an easy way to get around town!

And while I’m dreaming, I’d like to combine it with this exoskeleton robotic suit that the military has developed.  It multiples your strength and endurance by as many as 20 times.  The microprocessors in this suit can respond in almost real-time, so it actually follows your natural movements.

They both have battery life of about 30 minutes, which isn’t enough for the plans I have.  I’d want to add some type of pulse laser or plasma gun to it, but those really drain the power quickly!  I’m thinking they need to employ some type of mini-fusion reactor (in a bulletproof case, of course).  I’d also want a taser feature, with variable power control from “that tickles” to “that ain’t right”.  I’d also want a rapid-fire launcher that can be equipped with various projectiles such as potatoes or grenades.  And this suit should include a tea-maker. 

What kind of add-ons would you want in a robotic suit?

working less to help the economy

A guy on CNN, Jack Cafferty, has brought up the idea of changing to a four-day workweek here in the U.S., to help deal with rising gas prices.  It’s not an original idea, because the staff here at Buffet o’ Blog have discussed various plans to work less and/or to increase the length of the weekend.  So while it’s not a new idea, it is good to see it finally gaining some traction with the mainstream media.

I’ll volunteer for the four-day workweek, even if it’s just in an experimental stage.  And I volunteer to work from home, too, which would really save on gas prices.

I figure some companies would expect employees to start working 10-hour days to compensate for the extra off-day, but that’s not necessary.  It would be best to leave it like it is except for removing one whole day of work.  Not only would that help the economy and help prevent global warming, it would dramatically improve morale, which would be a huge thing in this time of major corporate layoffs and downsizing.  So companies ought to think about this new strategy.

Actually, I think the four-day workweek would be widely accepted idea among employees (which make up the majority).  So perhaps research is not needed on that.  But if they want to research taking it a step further, like a three-day workweek, I’ll sign up for that. 

the weather ninja

Today we had quite a bit of severe weather in Arkansas, including several destructive tornadoes.  There was a lot of news coverage, just about all day.  They even showed some live footage of tornadoes by professional storm chasers / spotters.

But one thing I learned recently is that we have a storm chaser here in Arkansas who calls himself the Weather Ninja.  I’m not sure what ninja skills have to do with thunderstorms, but it’s a cool name nonetheless.  He probably isn’t even a real ninja.  Although, he could be one of the Japanese anime types, who knows ancient karate skills plus has super powers.  But I suspect he’s just a regular guy who thought up a great name.

offended at losing weight

These days, I don’t get surprised too much at the stupidity of some people nor at how easily they get offended.  I don’t know if people have always been this stupid, or if our society somehow breeds it in some type of “experiment-gone-wrong” type way.  But either way, some people sure do get offended easily.  Here’s a unique example, which really happened recently.

A 19-year-old overweight guy named Broderick Laswell was arrested last September for beating and stabbing a guy, then setting his house on fire.  When he went to jail, he weighed 413 pounds.  (That’s not just slightly overweight, either — it’s more like “the back of your neck looks like a pack of sausages” fat.)  Anyway, in jail, he’s fed “only” 2300 to 3000 calories per day.  And he’s tried to work out a few times, but he started feeling faint.  He claims that this faintness is due to hunger pains from diminished calorie intake, though it’s more likely because he’s morbidly obese.  I mean, when you’re over 400 pounds, walking across the parking lot is a workout.  (Not that I’d know personally, nor will I be researching this.)

Anyway, this guy is suing the jailers for “lack of nutrition” because he’s lost 105 pounds and is now down to a still-not-healthy 308 pounds.  He claims that this “lack of nutrition” causes his stomach to hurt and growl and be hungry again within an hour of eating.

So, to summarize this, a fat guy commits a crime, goes to jail, is forced to eat a normal amount of food, loses weight, and files a lawsuit over it.  Is he offended at being less fat?  Or does he think prisoners should be fed from a buffet every day?  What is he thinking?

evil fake meat

Some grocery stores are now selling a meatless meat product called seitan.  It’s made from wheat, and is supposed to be better than tofu in all ways.  Some call it “wheat meat” — that would be a much better name than seitan.  FYI, seitan is pronounced like satan.  That’s definitely not an association they want to make!  Surely they could’ve come up with a better name for it…