quotes about bacon

I’m going to continue the bacon theme for one more post.  This time I’m going to list a few quotes about bacon.  (This is not all the quotes I have that refer to bacon, but the ones mostly about bacon.)  Enjoy…

I’m not Canadian, although I tend to like their bacon.

Cookin’ MC’s like a pound of bacon. ~ Vanilla Ice, in “Ice Ice Baby”

If it can’t be fried in bacon grease, it ain’t worth cooking, let alone eating. ~ Southern proverb

I’m never gonna get used to the 31st century.  Caffeinated bacon?  Baconated grapefruit?  ADMIRAL Crunch? ~ Fry, from Futurama

I used to have trouble choking down the pills I have to take for controlling my cholesterol, but it’s a lot easier now that I wrap them in bacon. ~ Brad Simanek

The other week, while sitting over a bacon omelet and rambling on about how much I love the “bacon, egg, cheese on toast combo”, a good buddy looks across the table at me and utters a sentence I may never forget as long as I live: “Yeah, because bacon is the candy bar of meat.” ~ Adam McArthur

I’d forgotten what an honest sandwich it is.  For those of you not familiar, “BLT” stands for “bacon, lettuce, and tomato”.  A lot of people think the “B” stands for “bread”, and I can understand someone not wanting a lettuce and tomato sandwich.  But, the bread is implied in the word “sandwich”.  Anyway, it’s an American original.  Everyone should have a BLT as soon as they can. ~ Stephen Colbert

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. ~ Doug Larson

As soon as I learned what the smell of bacon was, I learned how to make it. ~ Rush Limbaugh

There’s egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and spam; bacon and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam; or lobster thermidor aux crevettes with a mornay sauce garnished with truffle pate’, brandy and a fried egg on top of spam. ~ Monty Python

Veggie bacon?!?  That sounds like a sign of the Apocalypse. ~ Turtle Dundee

If you want to see the recent posts about bacon, click here to search the site for “bacon”.

crazy excuses by professional athletes

Professional athletes are known for making excuses why they lose or don’t perform well.  Here’s a couple of funny ones.

Chuck Nevitt at North Carolina State was nervous in practice, and his excuse was : “My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.”

British soccer coach Alex Ferguson talked his way out of a speeding ticket by explaining that he had diarrhea and that made him be in such a hurry.

Latrell Sprewell was griping about his contract for $14.8 million per year, saying, “I’ve got a family to feed.”  I just don’t know how someone can live on that…

Pitcher Greg Harris said he got an elbow injury that put him on the disabled list because he was flicking too many sunflower seeds during games.  Maybe he should work out more…

A British shotputter failed a steroids test and said it was because of drinking shampoo.  Uhh…

There are a lot of excuses out there and this could go on for a long time, but in closing I want to share one that has to be near the top for being random, creative, and stupid.  This is from a tennis player who lost to a hated rival in 1992 :

“Musumba Bwayla is a stupid man and a hopeless player.  He beat me because my jockstrap was too tight and because when he serves he farts, and that made me lose my concentration, for which I am famous throughout Zambia.” ~ Lighton Ndefwayl

I wish I could’ve seen the reaction by the reporters and journalists in the room when he said that.  That is just a classic quote!

New Year’s Resolutions, 2008

It’s time to start a new year, so I reckon it’s time to make New Year’s Resolutions.  I hear it’s the thing to do.  I made some last year, and I did well, I think.  My goals were to gain weight and to improve this blog.  Those resolutions worked out well for me, so I’m going to keep them for 2008 also.  Why change it if it’s not broken? 

So there’s nothing new there, but I will include a New Year’s resolution themed quote for your enjoyment :

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.

It’s funny if it’s true, but if you make resolutions you can keep (like I did last year), then you feel good about yourself and you wonder why more people don’t make resolutions they can actually keep… 

quotes about birthdays

The founder of Buffet o’ Blog had a birthday this week, so I figured it would be a good time to write a post containing quotes about birthdays.  There’s a few original ones in here that you’ve never seen or heard before (which means this is the first time ever they’ve been published).  This first quote is one of my favorites, now that I’ve passed 30 and some of my friends like to call me old… 

Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Men should always remember their woman’s birthday but never her age.

I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

Now there’s a new organization of ladies who say that they want to pay their own way on dates; who say that they don’t expect expensive gifts on their birthdays; and they say that they don’t want men to give them their seats on the bus.  The group’s called “Women’s Fib.”

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier.  I put them in the same room and let them fight it out. ~ Steven Wright

There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~ John Glenn, on retiring at 75

For my birthday, all I want is more time and more sleep and the death of all alarm clocks. Is that too much to ask? ~ Karen S., 11/12/01

Today, when I throw away a musical birthday card, I am tossing out more computer power than existed in the entire world in 1948.

You could stop in long enough to bring a gift.  I like size large boxers*, chocolates, Crest White strips (skrips), Joop cologne, cash in varying denominations, tv dinners, tube sox, Brill Cream, chocolate pies and yard rakes.  I EZ to pleez.  *(no use one!) ~ PB, about his birthday dinner at “West Sizz”, 11/25/02

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday.  That time is age eleven.

If today is the first day of the rest of your life, that would make today your birthday.  Happy birthday.

Today I turned 24.  I’m assuming it’s not much different than 23.  Anyways, I just miss the birthday parties at McDonalds and Chucky-Cheese’s.  The good ole days… where Nintendo ruled supreme and Super Mario Bros was a way of life. ~ DaVinci, from Digifreq.com

I’ve had a lot of birthdays — well, not a lot of birthdays, but this is the best birthday ever. ~ Celia, from Monsters, Inc.

I’m now 25.  I’m legal to do everything now.  I feel so relieved.  I can now rent a car without paying an under-age penalty.  However, before 25, I could buy a house, buy a car, get married, have a child, etc, etc, but I couldn’t rent a car without paying an extra age fee.  I think it’s hilarious.  So what did we do on my birthday?  We went to Wal-Mart. ~ Chris Davis, 1/19/06

Happy birthday!  May you not feel as old as you look. ~ Thomas Wayne, 2/25/06

I think we should “celebrate” someone’s birthday by covering their cube in cheese dip. ~ Mango-Man, 6/15/06

In dog-years you’d be dead. ~ Nelson B., about my birthday, 10/31/06

Can you feel the love in that last one?  Me, neither.  But at least the dis’ was creative.

BTW, I realize that getting older is not so big a deal once you get out of your teens, and you may not even care to think about your age (and you’d probably rather your friends would forget about it), but your birthday is nonetheless a great excuse to go eat a lot of pizza or nachos or whatever you want.  I’m thinking Larry’s Pizza is a great place to go for this, with their endless buffet of pizza — and not just one-topping pizzas, but lots of specialty pizzas.  And they even bring the food to your table.  Mmm…  You just can’t go wrong with that…

quotes from cartoons, pt. 7

Somehow it’s been several months since I last wrote on the quotes from cartoons series.  So now I will continue it, since it’s a good thing.  For some of you, this brings back lots of good memories.  If for whatever reason it doesn’t, then you should watch more cartoons.  It’s really that simple.  Cartoons are not just for kids.  (Well, some are, but those are best ignored by all.)  Anyway, let’s get started…

I’m afraid my sidekicks are copping an attitude. ~ Space Ghost

Whoa, Space Ghost, man!  Crack a window, will ya! ~ Bobcat Goldwaith, on Space Ghost Coast to Coast

Another genius foiled by an incapable assistant. ~ Calvin

We demand that you bring this planet up to code! ~ Calvin and Hobbes

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. ~ Bart Simpson, on the chalkboard

Maybe, just once, someone will call me ’sir’ without adding, ‘you’re making a scene.’ ~ Homer Simpson

I’m sorry for making gravy in the bathtub. ~ Homer Simpson

Marge: Homer, I think we have someone here who can help you.
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he’s a scientist.
Homer: Batman’s a scientist.
Marge: It’s NOT Batman!!

Sometimes even the wisest of man or machine can make an error. ~ Optimus Prime, Transformers

Destiny’s powerful hand has made the bed of my future and it’s up to me to lie in it.  I am destined to be a superhero, to right wrongs and pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evil-doers everywhere.  You don’t fight destiny, no sir!  And you don’t eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all… itchy. ~ The Tick

Leela: Didn’t you have ads in the 21st century?
Fry: Well sure, but not in our dreams.  Only on TV and radio, and in magazines, and movies, and at ball games… and on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts, and bananas and written on the sky.  But not in dreams, no siree.
~ from Futurama

Fry: This can’t be happening!
Bender: It can and for all you know it is.
~ from Futurama

Now that you’re going off to war, I don’t want you to worry about your job. That’s why you’re fired. ~ from Futurama

“Say, Pooh, why aren’t YOU busy?” I said.
“Because it’s a nice day,” said Pooh.
“Yes, but—”
“Why ruin it?” he said.

[Stimpy puts the Happy Helmut on Ren]
Ren: [panicky] ‘ey!  What iz this?  Get it off me!
Stimpy: It’s the Happy Helmut, Ren.  Now you’ll always be happy!  And this is the remote control, and I use this button to control how happy you are.
Ren: YOU, SICK LITTLE MONKEY!
~ Ren & Stimpy

Ren: All right, Stimpy.  He’s got us.  Give him back the five bucks.
Stimpy: [crying] I can’t! I’ve been bad, Ren.  You’ll smack me.
Ren: When have I ever?  Now go ahead.  Tell me what’s wrong.
Stimpy: All this talk about eating made me hungry.  I ate the five bucks.
Ren: [Slaps Stimpy] You stupid idiot!  You filthy worm!  You bloated sack!
~ Ren & Stimpy

Ooooh, FREAK OUT! ~ Dexter Douglas, Freakazoid

Something smells like poo gas! ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid

Hans: Now, come.  We mustn’t linger.  It is not safe here at night.
Freakazoid: It’s day.
Hans: Well, then, I suppose we can linger for a moment.
~ Freakazoid

A Lawn Gnome: We are wise and cunning.
Another Lawn Gnome: We stole man’s fire and then tried to hide it in our pockets.
A Lawn Gnome: That was painful and dumb.  So we became even more cunning.
~ Freakazoid

If either of you ever again ridicule an over weight person, I will personally sit on you! ~ FatMan, Freakazoid

Bad guy: Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber.
Freakazoid: That’s because we make lots of things better than other people!
~ Freakazoid

I believe in superheroes.  I believe they are kind, righteous people who keep their word.  I admire and I respect them.  All except the Hulk fella, him I no like.  He’s got a bad smell.  Anyway, a few weeks ago, my daughter, she started dating a boy… not a Shriner.  When he come to da house for the first time, I take him to da garage, to show him my little putt-a-putt.  That’s what I call my little Shriner car, my little putt-a-putt.  When we get to da garage, this boy, his name is “Snortz” or something, he takes one look at my little car, and he starts laughing and saying: “What a stupid little car!  Hey mister, why you have such a stupid little dumb little stupid-car?  This boy!  He make fun of my little putt-a-putt in front of-a my daughter!  I felt the fool! ~ Mr. Fizzizzi, Freakazoid

Grim: How come every time I take you kids to the mall it burns to the ground?
Billy: I blame it on the economy.
~ The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

I am the epitome of destruction… ~ gorilla to Samurai Jack

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actual excuses for working from home

One day when my team leader had already said he was WFH (working from home), he sent this at 8:16 : “I need to step out for a little while; … Call my cell if you need something from me before 10.”  Hmm… his stepping out will take about 2 hours.  I’ll have to remember this precedent.  He’s setting a good example, I think. 

On another occasion my team leader said in an e-mail at 10:50PM, “If I’m not feeling any better in the morning I’ll be working from home, which means I’ll possible be sleeping late.”  Isn’t that great?  Maybe I’ll work from home tomorrow and “possibly be sleeping late”. 

Another teammate said this one day when it was raining : “I’m working from home today and trying to stay dry.”  He could do better than that!  Is rain a valid excuse for WFH?  And another time he said : “I was up late dealing with a plumbing issue and slept through my alarm today.  I’m going to work from home this morning and be in the office this afternoon.”  He sure has a lot of reasons for WFH; seems like there’s one every week.  One day he didn’t even bother with an excuse — he just listed his cell phone number in an e-mail with the subject of “WFH today”.

One project manager on my team recently said this in an e-mail letting us know he was WFH : “I will be out of the office and working periodically from home today.”  At least he’s honest about “working periodically”. 

Judging by the “quality” of these excuses, I should be able to start WFH a lot more. 

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Site search tags: WFH, working from home, excuse, excuses, team leader, sleeping late, e-mail, work, project manager

quotes from cartoons, pt. 6

Do you know what today is???  Yeah, it’s Wednesday, but that’s not all!  Today you get another batch of quotes from cartoons!  It’s a good time.  And it helps you get over the midweek hump (as some say).  But what if it’s not Wednesday where you live (or on the day you happen to read this)?  That doesn’t matter at all!  These quotes are good every day.  They have stood the test of time.  They continue to be funny, humorous, random, silly, and so forth, regardless of time and space.  So enjoy them… (and if you’re a visitor here, check out the other posts in this series, as well as other random posts).

There’s somethin’ kinda NYEEEE about a kid who don’t know how to play baseball! ~ Foghorn Leghorn

Is it hot in here or am I sweatin’? ~ Brak

Moltar, release the taco! ~ Space Ghost

I will hug him, and squeeze him, and call him George. ~ from a Bugs Bunny cartoon

There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want. ~ Calvin

That’s the problem with nature.  Something’s always stinging you or oozing mucus on you.  Let’s go watch TV. ~ Calvin

FLUSSSSSH!  Whee!  Ha Ha Ha.  Mom, I’m done with my bath now. ~ Calvin

I’ve developed a new philosophy… only dread one day at a time. ~ Charlie Brown

Don’t toy with me, woman. ~ Homer Simpson

Quoth the raven, eat my shorts. ~ Bart Simpson

Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons. ~ The Simpsons

Marge: Homer, where are you?
Homer: Uhh, I’m somewhere where I don’t know where I am.
Marge: Do you see towels?  If you see towels, you’re probably in the linen closet again.
~ The Simpsons

Well huzzah, huzzah.  I’ll just throw back my legs and pollute my britches with delight. ~ Mr. Burns, from The Simpsons

Hook: Nobody would follow an uncharismatic bore like you!
Rumble: Hey!  Nobody calls Soundwave uncrasimatic!
~ Transformers, The Movie

Megatron: You’re either lying, or stupid.
Starscream: I’m stupid!  I’m stupid!
~ Transformers

I will rule the universe, even if I am the only one left in the universe. ~ Starscream, Transformers

And, isn’t sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway?  I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you’re good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit. ~ The Tick

The human mind is a dangerous plaything, boys.  When it’s used for evil, watch out!  But when it’s used for good, then things are much nicer. ~ The Tick

Ah savory cheese puffs, made inedible by time and fate. ~ The Tick, during spring cleaning

Man-At-Arms: You dare threaten her life?
Skeletor: I DARE ANYTHING!  I am Skeletor!
~ from Masters of the Universe

All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo! ~ Morbo, from Futurama

You win again, gravity. ~ Captain Zapp Brannigan, from Futurama

Pathetic human race.  Arranging their knowledge by category just made it easier to absorb.  Dewey, you fool!  Your decimal system has played right into my hands!  Ha ha ha ha! ~ Chief Giant Brain, in the library absorbing all of Earth’s knowledge, from Futurama

Human female: “All in all, this is one day that Mittens the kitten will not soon forget.”
Morbo: “Kittens give Morbo gas.  In later news the city of New New York is doomed.  Blame rests with known human professor Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny inferior brain.”
~ from Futurama

Brian Griffin: Face it Peter, you get competitive about everything.
Peter Griffin: I am so not competitive.  In fact, I am the least non-competitive.  So I win. ~ Family Guy

For every pickle I find, I shall kill you. ~ Stewie Griffin, Family Guy

Stimpy: Hey, Ren, this horse reminds me of your Uncle Eddie.
Ren: Why is that?
Stimpy: Because he’s big and stinky.
Ren: Hey, you shouldn’t say mean things like that!  Didn’t you ever consider that this horse might have feelings?
~ Ren & Stimpy

Powdered Toast Man: Quick, man!  Cling tenaciously to my buttocks!
The Pope: Both of them?
~ Ren & Stimpy

BRAIN: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
PINKY: I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?
~ Pinky and the Brain

You’re not a failure kid.  It’s just that your ideas are silly and dumb. ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid

Well I’d better be going… For somewhere there are wrongs to right.  There are foes to fight.  There are little chunks of carrot in your teeth… I’d have that taken care of, it can lead to insanity. ~ Freakazoid

We’ve put together a little motion picture about Freakazoid’s origin.  It’s filled with action and adventure and even features a scene with a man wrestling a bear for no reason. ~ Jack Valenti, Freakazoid

Freakazoid: Cosgrove, how come you never got married?
Cosgrove: Because I like meat too much.
Freakazoid: You can be married and still eat alot of meat.
Cosgrove: I didn’t know that.
~ Freakazoid

By the way there’s a spooky cloud thing out here turning people into clown zombies.  I’d take care of that if I were you. ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid

Ahhhhhhh scream with meeeee! ~ Guitierrez, when falling, Freakazoid

Freakazoid: [on the phone] Guess where I am.  I’m at your prison.  Me and my friends are gonna rescue the Douglas family and a mime and escape YOU BIG FATHEAD!  FATTY FATTY CHUNKY CHUNKY LARDFACE!
Russian Security Minister: Your death will be very painful.
[hangs up]
Russian Security Minister: Notify the prison authorities.  I want to deal with Freakazoid personally!
Steph: Freakazoid, you just insulted the security minister and gave him our exact location!
Roddy MacStew: What was the point, lad?  What’s your plan?
Freakazoid: [thinks a moment] OK, I know you’re gonna be mad but I forgot the rest of my plan.
~ Freakazoid

Who dare disturbs the Master of Masters, the Shogun of Sorrow, Aku? ~ Aku, to Samurai Jack

“How can I repay ya, lad?”  “Friends owe no debts.” ~ Samurai Jack, to Scottish warrior

Here’s the link to the other entries in our quotes from cartoons series.

how cereal makes me smarter

This morning I had cereal for breakfast.  This may not seem newsworthy, but this isn’t a news service.  :)  I had Cocoa Dyno Bites, which are the “generic brand” equivalent of Cocoa Pebbles (and are also part of a balanced breakfast).  What makes this event special is that it was the last bowl of the bag, which means it was extra-chocolatey.  And so it was extra delicious.  (Those of you who have experienced this will understand.)  I wonder if the nutritional info applies to the last bowl also.

The Dyno Bites don’t come with a toy, but they give you more cereal for a cheaper price, and it tastes about the same.  Not that I need a toy (especially one in the less-than-$1 range).  But there is that saying, “Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.”  But I still choose cereal based on flavor, which is based largely on the amount of sugar and chocolate in it.  This confirms what I already know — I have not yet reached middle age.  I plan to stay in the “young adult” range for a while.  (I also plan to live forever.  You may laugh, but so far so good.)

There’s also another quote about middle age that I know of : “Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.”  The broadness of the waist has started happening already, but my mind continues to broaden.  In fact, my knowledge continues to grow exponentially.  (That means a LOT, for those of you who aren’t sesquipedalianists or who dislike obfuscation.)  So obviously that proverb doesn’t apply to me, either.  I sometimes wonder if there is a limit to how much knowledge the human brain can store.  I doubt anyone has ever reached that limit, if one exists.  But I’m aiming for the world record of most knowledge accumulated by one person in memory.  I’m well on my way already, and I haven’t even reached middle age yet.

You may now be wondering what all this has got to do with cereal (or did you forget about the cereal already)?  Nothing, really.  It just shows how many neural and synaptic connections can be made off any random point, due to the immense storehouse of knowledge and stuff.  I also wonder if it’s possible that one can increase their randomness quotient by increasing their intelligence…  I’m not sure yet, but I will continue my personal research in this matter (and then I will know even more!).  See, I can start talking about eating the last bowl of my cereal and then come up with original theorems / postulates / hypotheses in the same article.  Sometimes I amaze myself with all these cognitive acrobatics.  The randomness continues to flow, more than this post can contain.

(BTW, I realize some people may think this is pure rambling, but consider if it just might be the essence of distilled wisdom.  And maybe next time you’re eating cereal you’ll start to expound on various truths and such.  It’s a good time.)

Optimus Prime doing roundhouse kicks

I was just talking with someone about the upcoming Transformers movie, and we were thinking there should be a Transformer with ninja skills.  He could be all-black, with special stealth skills, and have fast fighting moves.  He could throw explosive ninja stars.  G.I. Joe had ninjas — Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow — and that was cool, so I think it would work for the Transformers.

Also, it would be neat if they enabled Optimus Prime to be able to do roundhouse kicks (a la Chuck Norris).  To fit that into the story, the Autobots and Decepticons are both searching for a Chuck Norris upgrade package, which gives you crazy-cool fighting skills, then Optimus Prime ends up with it.  I know this deviates from the canon of Transformers lore (the comics), but I think most fans would buy into it.  (Besides, Michael Bay is already changing up the story so much, so they might as well make them even better.)  Somebody should make this happen.

Somebody has thought of combining them before, as evidenced by this quote (sorry I don’t know who said it) :

The original theme song to The Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris — more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris — robot in disguise”, and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up.  This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

For a show it might be too much, yeah, but what about for a movie?  Think about it…

quotes from cartoons, pt. 5

Once again it’s been a couple of months since our last installment of quotes from cartoons.  Well, I’m not gonna just sit around and do nothing (as tempting as that may sound).  I’m going to post another issue in our series.  Enjoy…

Welcome back, stupid viewers!  You’ll watch anything!  Go ahead, change the channel.  You’ll be back! ~ Space Ghost

Ex-cellent… ~ Mr. burns, on the Simpsons  (Editor’s note: I realize it’s a one-word quote, which isn’t much of a quote, but the way he says it is classic.)

My boloney has a first name, it’s H-O-M-E-R, my boloney has a second name, it’s H-O-M-E-R… ~ Homer Simpson

AHHH… Donuts… What can’t they do. ~ Homer Simpson

Going cold turkey isn’t as delicious as it sounds. ~ Homer Simpson

Spitwads are not free speech. ~ Bart Simpson, writing 500 times on the board

My polite indignation knows no bounds! ~ Apu, from The Simpsons

Psst… Hey Guido.  It’s all so clear to me now.  I’m the keeper of the cheese, and you’re the lemon merchant, get it?  And he knows it!  That’s why he’s gonna kill us! ~ Ren Hoek, from Ren & Stimpy

Stimpy: I know how you can be important.  I know how you can be really important.
Ren: Really?  How?
Stimpy: You can be the president… of my fan club!
Ren: President?  Wow!  President.
[Ren imagines he's the President of the United States]
Ren: [Screaming on the phone] What do you mean you don’t agree with me?  Do you know who you’re dealing with?
[Pushes "The Button"; A loud explosion blows up a chunk of the world; Ren laughs maniacally]
Ren: [Back to reality] I’ll do it!
~ Ren & Stimpy

Thou doth possess a great wealth of ignorance. ~ Ren & Stimpy

I am ze locksmith of love, no? ~ Pepe Le Pew

Ain’t I a stinker? ~ Bugs Bunny

Happy, Happy.  Joy, Joy. ~ Ren & Stimpy

Monopoly is more fun when you make your own Chance cards. ~ Calvin

You know Einstein got really terrible grades?  Well, mine are even worse! ~ Calvin

You know Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don’t help. ~ Calvin

I have looked in so many places that I am sure I am closer to its being found than it being lost. ~ Winnie the Pooh

The key to finding something is to look where it is. ~ Tigger

Unicron: I have summoned you here for a purpose.
Megatron: Nobody summons Megatron!
Unicron: Then it pleases me to be the first.
~ Transformers, The Movie

There will be no war today, Optimus Prime.  You have earned Galvatron’s respect. ~ Galvatron, Transformers

Yes, destiny has her hand on my back, and she’s pushing! ~ The Tick

So, Arthur, once again we find that you can’t disguise the foul taste of evil with artificial or even natural sweeteners.  The recipe for goodness is ever-elusive.  But here’s a little tip.  When a nice, clean brain tumbles to the dirty street, to lie among the discarded wrappers and spat-out gumwads of wickedness, you can’t just pick it up and wash it off.  You gotta THINK it clean from the inside out. ~ The Tick

By the power of Greyskull… I have the power! ~ He-Man

Kittens give Morbo gas. ~ Morbo, from Futurama

I’m never gonna get used to the 31st century.  Caffineated bacon?  Baconated grapefruit?  ADMIRAL Crunch? ~ Fry, from Futurama

Cubert J. Farnsworth: I understand how the engines work now.  It came to me in a dream.  The engines don’t move the ship across the universe.  The ship stays in place and the engines move the universe around it.
Bender: That’s a complete load!
Cubert J. Farnsworth: Nothing’s a complete load!  Not if you can imagine it.  That’s what being a scientist is all about.
~ from Futurama

I have no idea how to be black… you know, except for not smiling when I get my picture taken. ~ Peter, Family Guy

Brain : I shall pollute the water supply with this DNAdefibuliser, turning everyone into mindless slaves.
Pinky : What about the people who drink bottled water?
Brain : Pinky, people who pay 5 dollars for a bottle of water are already mindless slaves.

If you’ve seen at least one episode from each of the cartoons referenced above, then you’re on your way to becoming a well-rounded individual.  If there’s some you haven’t seen, then you should start catching up.  Cartoons are great.

Here’s the link to the other entries in our quotes from cartoons series.