public approval rating going down

Here at Buffet o’ Blog we usually don’t dabble in politics, unless it’s funny or satire / irony.  Today we have an editorial by chief important political correspondent, T. Wayne Ledbetter, Esq.  Can you find the humor in this, or at least write something funny in response to it?

In the past few weeks, several U.S. Senators have been holding town hall meetings to discuss the national health care plan, and they’ve been met with some major opposition.   Some citizens are quite angry about the idea of a socialism-style health care system, along with the massive cost that will be passed along to future generations.

President Barack Obama is keeping track of all this public opposition, and thus the public’s approval rating is going down in his eyes.  Surely Obama sits at his Oval Office desk and sighs all the time at how many people just don’t like his plans.  He must be wondering why the average Joe isn’t interested in socialism, when it’s for our own good.  “The American people don’t know what they want,” he probably mutters to himself, ever determined to force his plans upon the unsuspecting masses.

It may seem like Obama’s plans will all be passed without question, with the Democrats having a majority in Congress and the economy is a debacle (so people want change), but his future plans are not guaranteed yet.   If the Senators continue to meet with the American public and thus hear what people really think, they run the risk of getting back in touch with reality and realizing what their constituents actually expect.  And if enough people make their opinions heard, the Senators will be forced to take notice, because what is most important to them is remaining in power.  If they fear losing a significant number of votes and thus losing their seat, they will do what is necessary.

The current administration is aware of this danger to their radical plans, so they’ve begun to label the opposition in generalized, stereotyped, derogatory groups, like “right-wing extremists”.  They must isolate any public dissension to crazy people.  They have even asked for people to call the White House with the names of people who speak out against Obama’s socialistic vision.  They must not let this moment slip away, for American is at a crossroads created by a perfect storm of economic distress, an unwinnable war, rumors of man-made global warming and the need to go “green”, and discontent of “politics as usual” by the American people.  This crossroads offers the perfect chance to push through extreme legislation, as we have seen with the stimulus package and the omnibus bill and bailouts, which were rushed so fast through Congress that most of our representatives never had time to even read it!

Obama knows the current stakes, and he realizes he must seize this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to take control of America’s future, and he must act quickly.  If the great unwashed masses realize he is pushing for European-style socialism, his plans will fail.  He must make these changes under the guise of making everything better, and he must proceed with great haste.  With the public’s approval rating going down (in his eyes), time is running out.  Some of the mainstream media are even beginning to criticize him — even beyond FOX News.  Obama sits in his comfy executive chair, perplexed, wondering how mainstream reporters can question his grandiose plans.  Isn’t dissent of the President unpatriotic?  How could anyone be critical (beyond those crazy right-wing extremists, who only want to save the foundation our country was built on)?

During a moment of brief reflection, perhaps Obama gives pause to his plans of changing America, and he begins to wonder if former President George W. Bush ever felt this discombobulated.  But those thoughts are fleeting, because he reckons the situation was irreconcilably different.  The media was obviously justified in hating Bush, in denigrating everything about him, in exaggerating the blame that should be cast upon him.  It was patriotic for the far-left media to hate on Bush, because he was… conservative.  There was nothing historic and momentous about his presidency.  He was too experienced, and his election wasn’t anything unique, and he didn’t take America in all these new radical directions.  His tenure in Washington was boring, except for all the humor and satire created about him.  But Obama, he’s historic, and he has a huge vision of change (even if nobody knew what the change would be during the campaign, it was change, so it must be good).  And Obama has the support of most of the mainstream media, so he must be doing things right.  Right?

As I wrap up this long piece of political satire, it is now up to you to ponder what was said, to see if you can determine what was satire and what is actually happening.  Was I just rambling incoherently, or did I actually have any thought-provoking points to make?   Was there any political humor in there, or was it depressing?  The end result is up to you.   I ramble, you decide.  

Biden on Obama’s broken teleprompters

To some, Joe Biden is funny.  What makes him funny is that he usually isn’t trying to be funny, but he makes so many verbal mistakes.  Some even call him the “human gaffe machine”.  In this video clip, he was giving a speech and the teleprompter blew over, so he made a joke at the expense of himself and Obama.

It’s good to be able to laugh at yourself, but isn’t it kinda sad that there’s such a reliance on teleprompters that Obama and Biden are known for extreme stuttering and making ridiculous unintended statements when they don’t have them?  I mean, this is the President and Vice-President of the United States, some of the most powerful and influential people in the world!  I know it’s more difficult to speak “off the cuff”, but they should know what they’re doing!

Oh, wait, I got kinda serious there.  This is the wrong blog for that.  My bad…  Let’s go in a different direction.

If you happen to see a question-and-answer session or an interview with Obama where he doesn’t have a teleprompter, you could count how many times he says “Uhh” per minute.  I used to do that with one of my foreign teachers in college who could barely speak English.  (He averaged about 15 times per minute, which is once every four seconds.  Imagine listening to that the whole class!)  Counting this with Obama won’t cause you to miss much — he usually doesn’t answer the question anyway.  Of course he’ll give an answer, but often he “speaks around” the answer, making “politically correct” statements but not actually answering the question or leaving out the specifics.

political comic humor site

Friend of the blog Rurouni Kenneth showed me a funny political comic the other day, and I want to share it with you.  Instead of copying it, I’m going to give you the link to it, so the author gets credit.  There doesn’t appear to be a direct link, so click on this, then click on February 18, 2009.

Link

It’s comparing irresponsible home buyers to Congress.  It makes a great point.

If you enjoy political comic humor, there are some other good ones at that site.

While what President Obama and the current Congress are doing to America isn’t very funny, it helps to be able to laugh about it.  If only it were a joke…

Is Obama part of the biggest practical joke ever?

I remember a discussion with some of my friends where we discussed ideas for the biggest practical joke in history.  The discussion was done just for fun, because these days you couldn’t pull off a huge joke without offending multitudes of people — so many people are just wusses when it comes to humor.

But after seeing Obama’s first 60 days in office, and especially the political events of the past week, I have to wonder: Is President Barack Obama part of the biggest practical joke in history?   I keep hearing unusual news stories about Obama, and I find myself wondering if people are just making it up or if Obama is really doing stuff that stupid?   It seems inconceivable that our nation’s leader could be this ignorant and incompetent.  Here’s a few examples:

* Obama was laughing incessantly about the economy on 60 Minutes, to the point that the host asked him, “Are you punch drunk?”  That’s not something you expect to have to ask the President of the United States!

* Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez called him “ignorant”.  Well, that could probably happen to anybody.

* AIG execs get huge bonuses, and at first Obama’s administration said they didn’t know about it, then we find out they are lying.  For some reason, they decided to let the bonuses remain.

* Obama appeared on Jay Leno like he has nothing more important to do.  Has anyone told him the campaign is over and that he has a LOT of work to do?

* Speaking of which, Obama continues acting like a celebrity, thinking it’s all about him.

* Obama keeps filling leadership positions with people who don’t pay their taxes.  Don’t they run background checks?

* Obama said he wouldn’t put people in his administration who were recent lobbyists, then he did exactly that the same day, in the same speech.  You just can’t make that stuff up.

* Obama gave 25 DVDs to the British Prime Minister Gordon Brown, and then the DVDs weren’t playable over there because they are region encoded to work only in North America.  Did that really happen?  Doesn’t our President have access to better gifts for leaders of other countries?

* Under Obama, our government seems to be spending a few more hundred billion dollars every other day, when our government is already over $10 trillion in debt.   Doesn’t he realize that it’s bad fiscal policy to spend more money than you have?  And that if our country ever runs out of available credit, we’ll go bankrupt?

* Obama claims he will cut the deficit in half, but then his policies call for unprecedented spending.  What deficit is he talking about, and how many expenses are excluded from those calculations?

I could go on, but you get the idea.  I realize Obama is an amateur when it comes to leading a country, but he’s hired a lot of Bill Clinton’s former people to report to him, so they have experience (for what that’s worth).  Plus, some of this stuff should just be common sense.  So instead of thinking that Obama is really this stupid and incompetent, this must be some kind of huge practical joke.  Surely, any day now he’ll say “April Fools!” and everyone will breathe a sigh of relief and eventually have confidence in our government again.   Come to think of it, April 1st is right around the corner, so maybe that’s when we’ll find out if this is all for real or not…

it’s time for some research funding!

Some of us on the Buffet o’ Blog staff have joked that we should start a research project and find a way to get funded by the government.   After glancing over just part of the 2009 Omnibus Appropriations Act / spending bill, I’m convinced that we should actually do it.  Initially we were just joking, but people are getting big bucks for projects that our government probably shouldn’t be supporting.  Here’s a few examples:

* $360,000 to the “NOAA National Weather Service Pacific Region Headquarters to purchase, install, and maintain rain gages”.   Okay, maybe this one should be funded.   But $360,000 for rain gages?!?  I know, they have to pay someone to install and maintain them.  Still, you can buy a LOT of rain gages and pay quite a few salaries with that kind of money!   And that doesn’t sound like a full-time job for several people…  (On a side note, I was taught “gauges” is the correct spelling, but apparently both are acceptable.  Silly English language!)

* $1,000,000 to “Rhode Island Coastal Resource Management Council for the development of a comprehensive habitat restoration and protection plan for Narragansett Bay and nearby water bodies”.  But that’s not all.  Here’s a related one: another one million dollars to “Save the Bay for a middle-school youth program to study, cleanup, and preserve Narragansett Bay”.  Really?!? A million bucks to a professional group just to DEVELOP a plan seems WAY high, but then to add another million for a middle-school program?  Where’s that money going???   It’s not going to the kids.  It’s probably not going to the teachers.  Someone should watch that program.

* $2,150,000 to Wisconsin for the “Wisconsin Height Modernization Program”.  Is the height of Wisconsin out-of-date?  I don’t know what that’s about…

* $5,600,000 to “The JASON Project”.  I have no idea what that is.  But I’m thinking there should be a “Buffet o’ Blog Project”!  We can call it “The BoB Project” for short.   Our state senators should just put it in there for something small, like $100,000.  Who reads these bills anyway?  I don’t think our congressmen do.   This bill is 1,122 pages long, and they had less than 36 hours to read it before it was voted on.  I need to make some phone calls!

* $400,000 for “Horseshoe Crab Research”.  I wonder if this will involve the eating of any…  I’d like to participate in some type of research that involves lots of eating (as long as it’s not vegetables).

* $1,500,000 to “Auburn University for research”.   Some of the earmarks explain what the research is for, but to put “for research” is very generic.  It seems like there would be difficulty in maintaining accountability for that money…   Hmm…  that gives me an idea for my future “research” project(s)… 

The list goes on and on and on and on.  You get the idea.  If you want to look over the plan, here’s the link.  (Be forewarned it’s a 12MB PDF file.)

Enough rambling about all that.  I’ve got to go now, so I can think up some type of “research” I can do to get lots of money.  Apparently this is the American way, and now that Pelosi and the Democrats are spending money like two-year-olds in a candy store, it’s time for me to get in on the redistribution of wealth!