solving global warming with pollution

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Global warming is a potentially big problem, as you may have heard.  We’re releasing way too much pollution into the atmosphere.  But here’s the random part — some scientists are suggesting we put even more pollution in the atmosphere.  Yep, you read that right.  Check it out :

If the sun warms the Earth too dangerously, the time may come to draw the shade. The “shade” would be a layer of pollution deliberately spewed into the atmosphere to help cool the planet. This over-the-top idea comes from prominent scientists, among them a Nobel laureate. … The Nobel Prize-winning scientist who first made the proposal is himself “not enthusiastic about it.”

So even the guy who suggested it doesn’t like the idea…  so why is this even getting press?  If I come up with some stupid idea, will newspapers around the world print it?  The article has even more silliness, though :

“If human beings take it upon themselves to carry out something as massive and drastic as this, we need to be absolutely sure there are no side effects,” Pachauri said.

Philip Clapp, a veteran campaigner for emissions controls to curb warming, also sounded a nervous note, saying, “We are already engaged in an uncontrolled experiment by injecting greenhouse gases into the atmosphere.”

What?!?  They’ve already injected greenhouse gases in the atmosphere?!?  Isn’t that part of our problem?  And who authorized this “uncontrolled experiment”?  And now they want to do something similar again?  I see some flaws in the slaw with this “plan” they have.  Besides, this wouldn’t be a permanent solution — it would have to be repeated over and over again :

A massive dissemination of pollutants would be needed every year or two, as the sulfates precipitate from the atmosphere in acid rain.

I’d rather not increase the amount of acid rain, especially by people intentionally putting pollutants in the atmosphere.  Who’s coming up with these crazy ideas?

There’s got to be some better solutions to solving global warming than polluting the air even more…  So if any of you important scientists out there have any suggestions, speak up.

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Laughing is good for you. So this blog is a buffet of randomness and humor. Most of the content here is original and thus exclusive to this site. I encourage everyone to participate in the comments section -- it makes it more fun for everyone.

6 responses »

  1. I say we breed cattle to be more gassy and let the flatulence from our dairy farms save the planet–for a small fee of course.

  2. I suggest something a little more efficient than a bunch of single factories and individuals increasing their pollution output for the good of the world. We should instead turn to thermo-nuclear holocaust. World-wide nuclear winter should save us from the devastation of global warming! 🙂

  3. Basically and fundamentally, the plan to pollute the whole world is a job that only volcanoes can perform effectively and efficiently. We should “encourage” volcanoes all over the earth to erupt simultaneously. You may be asking how this would be possible. Well, according to my calculations*, it would take 1 million gallons of milk of magnesia, prune juice or some such stool softener per volcano to induce eruption because, as we all know, dormant volcanoes are just a little “stopped up”. This would be a massive undertaking, but would be well worth the cost if it saved the planet from the evils of global warming.

    *I made no such calculations.

  4. I think the obvious solution is to finally put the moon to good use. after all as has already been discussed it’s currently broken. I propose we change the moons orbit so that it is always between the earth and the sun. (think partial eclipse) this will drastically cut down on the amount of themal heat impacting our atmosphere, along with the added benefit of making it easier to take a nap during the day. We could also use the idea (I think proposed by Evil Genius?) about injecting the sun full of SPF… that should abate some of the problems… & we wouldn’t have to worry about sunburn right?

  5. I’m all for the nuclear holocaust with nuclear winter. The main problem would be finding enough detination sights to spread sufficient dust into the atmosphere. After careful calculations I have created a list of acceptable and adequate detination sight. Please see below:

    N. Korea
    France
    China

    and finally we should create the worlds largest parking lot of cool green glass(sand when extremely heated turns to glass. Impure glass tends to be green in color) in……. the entire middle east.

  6. Mr. Nuke-em,

    That’s a cool name, BTW. Hey, is your first name Duke? 🙂

    I see you listed three places for detonation, but one of them is not like the others. Two of them are threats to our world’s safety and freedom, while the other one doesn’t scare anyone. Perhaps Iran or Venezuela could fit into your calculations…

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