I want a tank to drive around town

Standard

Sherman tank
I was just talking with some of the staff here at Buffet o’ Blog, discussing new cars, and one guy said he wants a Sherman tank.  We got to talking about how cool that would be, and it’s not a bad idea.

New cars typically have crash-test ratings of up to 5 stars, to represent how safe they are in the event of a crash or rollover.  With a tank, you’d probably have at least 50 stars of safety.  I doubt you could roll it over if you tried, and you wouldn’t need airbags.  If someone drove through a red light and hit you, you might not even notice.  You couldn’t get any safer.  It would also be bulletproof, hail-proof, etc.  You might even be able to drive it through a tornado!

You would also gain the respect (and fear) of other drivers.  If someone were audacious enough to honk their horn at you while at a stoplight, you could turn the turret around, and their attitude would change really quick.  Of course, firing military-grade weapons at civilians is frowned upon, so you could revamp it to shoot some green glop at them, to cover their car (including the appropriate sound effect, of course).

One negative of driving a tank is that the highway department might not care for it too much, given that you could probably make ruts all over the road — even on paved roads.  But you could go off-road, too.  It would be so much better than the SUVs that are sold these days.

Now I just need to find an Army surplus store to see how much one of these would cost…

BTW, I came across a page that has pictures and a video of a someone driving a Sherman tank over a car.  I wonder what the insurance company would say about that…

If you’re interested, here’s the specs on a 1942 M4 General Sherman tank :

    Weight: 29.62 tons
    Length: 19 feet, 4 inches
    Height: 9 feet
    Armor: 0.99 – 1.97 inches
    Maximum Speed: 24 mph
    Maximum Range: 99 miles
    Crew: 5
    Armament: 75mm main gun;  3 x .30 caliber machine guns;  1 x Anti-Air Defense .50 caliber (12.7mm) machine gun;  1 x .30 caliber (7.62mm) Co-axial machine gun;  1 x .30 caliber (7.62mm) bow machine gun.
    Ammunition: 97 rounds (75mm gun);  4,750 rounds (Machine guns)
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About Buffet o' Blog

Laughing is good for you. So this blog is a buffet of randomness and humor. Most of the content here is original and thus exclusive to this site. I encourage everyone to participate in the comments section -- it makes it more fun for everyone.

12 responses »

  1. I agree… a tank would rock… Last night in youth I read an excerpt for a humor article about ‘how the world would be different if men had their way’. High on the list was that “tanks would be much easier to rent”. I concur. I did note one thing you left out on your specs… what kind of gas millage does a 30 ton sherman tank get? I’m guessing not much if the maximum range is 99 miles… but OH what a commute to work that would be!!!

  2. This thing can only go 99 miles on one “tank” (no pun intended, ahem…) of gas?? Man, that could really start to add up when during the holidays to see the fam!

    When are they going to come out with the hybrid version of the Shermie Tank? We really need to start thinking about the environment with these things…

  3. Pingback: how to convert your car into a tank « Buffet o' Blog

  4. that’d be awesome, especially if you made it into a hybrid with more room inside you’d have to take the guns off though, shame. And you’d need a special license.

    • Hadn’t heard of that one… will have to check it out. I know the tank chase in Goldeneye was awesome. Seems like more movie directors would find a way to work it in. I know, it may not seem to fit in all movies, but when you have full access to the script, you can make it fit! Well, perhaps not everyone has the creative prowess of yours truly, but the movie studios could submit it to Buffet o’ Blog and collectively we could make any movie awesome! 🙂

  5. Pingback: how to make any movie awesome « Buffet o' Blog

  6. I find myself coming back to your web-site only because you have lots of awesome insights and also you happen to be at this a while, which is very impressive and tells me you know your stuff.

    • I got your awesome insights! And I do know my stuff! When it comes to driving a tank around town, I have a lot of experience, from various virtual simulations. I also have practiced blowing up a lot of stuff. You want I should write about that?

      (FYI, I’m not the owner of this blog, but I write about as much as the authors, if you count the comments. I’ve shared more insights here than most people have forgotten.)

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