Can Cheetos cure headaches?

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We got an e-mail from Thomas Wayne today, who has a question for our readers here.  Since there are several doctor-esque people that comment here, we decided to oblige his request.

This morning I had a headache.  I tried resting some during lunch, and dozed off for a few minutes, but my head still hurt some.  So I decided to eat.  Today’s menu consisted of a sandwich — not too exciting, right?  But there was a new bag of Cheetos in the cabinet, which I grabbed.  I opened the bag and smelled the cheesy goodness, then proceeded to eat some.  While eating, I felt better, not just from being happy because Cheetos are scrumptious, but my head wasn’t hurting as much.  So I wondered if I should just keep eating Cheetos until my head didn’t hurt anymore.  I ate quite a few Cheetos, and then my head hardly hurt at all.

Could I have stumbled onto a new cure for headaches?  Does anybody have any research or theories or hypotheses that might back this up?

Any thoughts?

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12 responses »

  1. Thomas Wayne… you ARE indeed onto something. Upon reading through my extensive research* I noted the same correlation that you did. I cross referenced these findings with other research* and found that both cheetos and oranges seem to have a positive result when dealing with various types of illness (not just headaches). It has long been the school of thought that the ‘vitamin C’ contained in an orange can boost the immune system, thus keeping us from getting sick or speeding our recovery.

    Based on my research* I hereby REFUTE this claim… it is NOT vitamin C that boosts the auto-immune system… but the color ORANGE… so keep eating those cheetos my friend… do it for a better and healthier life!

    *I plan to research this eventually

  2. I am a close personal friend of T.W. and I wouls assume the following:

    1.Sometimes the cause of a headache could be that the brain is not given its daily requirements of nutrients, of which cheese is included. eat breakfast! cheese omlettes, bacon wrap (a thick piece of bacon wrapped around a chunck of cheese), loaded potatoes w/cheese, etc.

    or….

    2. When work is tough or the day is long in general, cheesy products can be a “comfort food”. By T.W.’s comments, he instantly felt better once he smelled/tasted the cheetos. He was brought back to a time when respect was given for a hard dollar earned and raises occured frequently. 🙂

    or…

    3. A group of alien beings from another dimension decided to remove the implant from his brain while he was sleeping the night before in which the side effect was a headache that could only be removed upon consumption of the last food product he dreamed of after watching a romantic comedy.

  3. I don’t think it was aliens… because a few weeks ago, when the Important Evil Genius’ secret lair was discovered, I picked up this alien detector kit for just five bucks when they auctioned off his stuff. It was still in the original box, so I don’t think he ever used it. (He probably didn’t know how!) Anyway, it didn’t give off any warnings last night, so I don’t think there were any aliens nearby.

  4. BTW, that “bacon wrap” you mentioned sure sounds good! You should market those for breakfast meals. And a good microwaveable cheese-n-bacon omelette. Mmm…

    If I eat lots of Cheetos every day until I get a raise around this place, I’m gonna be HUGE! AWW-RIGHT!

  5. Thomas Wayne, my Lair has NEVER been found nor infiltrated. What you found was an abandoned toxic dump (granted… some of the junk residing there used to belong to me) I did throw away the Alien detector kit you speak of becuase it wasn’t powerful enough for my purpose, so I built a better one… one that didnt’ rely on batteries. Speaking of which… that’s why you did not detect aliens… you FORGOT the batteries!

    hey…natures goodness… where can I get one of the bacon-wraps you speak of. I’m taking the important Doctors advice and going on the bacon & cheese diet he endorses… this sounds like it’d hit the spot and lower my high blood pressure to boot!

  6. Important Evil Genius, there’s a word for all your rambling about your lair : denial. Why don’t you just accept that you were found out? You can swallow the pain better when you admit the truth. Quit spreading your propaganda; no one takes you seriously anyway.

    Back to the bacon wraps… you should put some of that spicy ranch dressing from Colton’s in it. That’d sure be good! I think they’d sell like hotcakes… uh, or even better.

  7. A piece of bacon rolled into a ball with a piece of cheese in the middle. a stuffed bacon ball kinda thing. Throw it in the oven to heat it up and melt the cheese/cook the bacon (be careful not to bake too long ’cause bacon will get too crispy.

    I call it Bake-n-bites.

    what do you think?

    It is a theory, of course, and would need extensive research by an expert in this type of thing.

    And if it fails, a bacon wrap is safe. One can wrap a piece of bacon around almost anything and make it good.

    Maybe I can use bacon to attract hot chicks?! 😉

  8. Being an expert on women*, I find that they’re drawn more to chocolate than any other food. And ice cream is a close second.

    * That is, on the things that make sense.

    But you should still market those Bake-n-bites. I really like the idea. It’s got a catchy title, and it’s kinda punny (which isn’t my thing, but some people really like them), and of course the product would be scrumptious. I think you’d make a lot of money.

    If you could make it microwaveable, you’d sell even more.

    While you’re doing your research on them, I volunteer to be a taste-tester. 🙂

  9. BTW, my alien detector does work! The instructions said to plug in a 9-Volt battery, but I figured it should have more juice than that, so I hooked it up to a car battery with some baling wire & duct tape. I wanted to be able to detect them from farther away than just outside my window. At first, the device made a sizzlin’ noise, but I think it got used to the extra power. There’s lots of flashing lights and old-school voltmeters on it. I’ll have a good head-start if we ever get invaded…

  10. BTW, did you ever bring those Bake-n-bites to market? I’d buy them! If you aren’t going to sell them, I’m going to, and I’ll make millions. I don’t see how folks could resist a cheese-stuffed bacon ball! Plus, if you market it with that bacon-and-cheese diet, that would help, too.

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