a new type of football video game

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The most popular football video game has been the Madden series for a few years, but I’d like to see one that has a lot more funny and random features.  They’ve got the realistic / simulation aspect covered.  I want a game where I can do whatever I want.

Let’s see, if I created a football video games, what would I add in as options…

  • Control the weather.  If I want them to play in 12″ of snow, then I’ll make it happen.  Or if I’d rather the field be muddy from 8″ of torrential downpours, let that be an option.  And of course the gameplay has to reflect the difficulty of the weather.
  • Choose from hilarious broadcasters.  I don’t want the same old play-by-play that most of these games feature.  I want someone with a lot of character and personality, who isn’t afraid of showing it.  It’s a video game, not real life, so let it loose.  Have someone who makes comments like, “His uniform should have number 2, because that’s how crappy his playing is.”  Another announcer could have lots of attitude, saying things like, “I know he didn’t!” and “If that was me, I wouldn’t tolerate that crap.”  Make it lively.
  • When fights break out, zoom in and let the gamers control the fighting between individual players.  Let them get suspended, but allow the fighting.  (I suspect most teams would have some “expendable bench players” who tend to fight a lot.)  🙂
  • Have a cheat code where you can make the center rip a loud fart while the quarterback is calling the play, then hear players chuckle.  (You know this feature should be in the game!  There would probably be casual fans buy the game primarily because of this.)
  • Be able to customize the fields.  I know, most football stadiums are very much alike, and the fields are all the same size, but that can be boring.  I want to change the size of the field, the shape, and put random objects out there.  How about putting a mudhole the width of the field between the 10 and 20 yard lines?  Seems like it would add drama to the game.  I’d also put a flock of sheep at one end.  The options are endless.  This would increase replayability.

If you have any other suggestions, put them in the comments section.

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Laughing is good for you. So this blog is a buffet of randomness and humor. Most of the content here is original and thus exclusive to this site. I encourage everyone to participate in the comments section -- it makes it more fun for everyone.

3 responses »

  1. I’d like to have the option of the Swedish Chef from the Muppets as the broadcaster / commentator. Also, have an option to have the two grumpy old men from the Muppets be the announcers. That would be great! Just imagine it, like after a fumble : “That was really bad.” “Yeah, that was horrible!” “Boo!” 🙂

  2. You should also have it where like every 20th game or so, the announcers both ate lots of refried beans at a Mexican restaurant for lunch, and their dialogue (and sound effects) are changed accordingly. There is so much potential for this! Just imagine the possibilities…

    Joe: Whew, this is really bad!
    Bob: I know, their defense just can’t stop the rush…
    Joe: No, Bob, I’m talking about my gas today. It’s off the charts!
    Bob: Man, quit that! We’re in an enclosed area!

    Or, as tribute to our regular reader named “Bowels Aflame”, the flatulence could be worked into a conversation (as he is apt to do, with his Active Gas On Command):

    Joe: Here’s what I thought about that play : PHVRRRT!
    Bob: Well said, Joe.

  3. If I was ever making a football game (or just about any sports game), I’d include the infamous crazy ambulance glitch from Madden ’92, where the ambulance would rush on the field for injured players but run over the people standing nearby. And usually the ambulance would run over the same players again after pushing them forward. That’s just awesome!

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