I don’t own a bed

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I’ve been married a few years now, so I’ve learned a few things about relationships.  And I’ve learned that women sometimes see things differently than men do.

Just recently I learned that we do not have a bed in our bedroom.  This was quite the surprise for me, because I always thought we were sleeping in a bed.  I mean, it’s a bed frame with a couple of mattresses, along with pillows, sheets, and blankets.  To me, that’s a bed.  But apparently it’s not a bed.  I’m not sure what it is, then.  Can anyone explain this?

I did find out why it’s not a bed, though — it doesn’t have the decorative headboard and footboard on it.  Supposedly that makes it a bed.  Uhh, yeah…  So I’m still not sure what we have, but I’m going to call it a bed anyway…

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7 responses »

  1. I recently had this same discussion with my boyfriend. When you buy a mattress, usually it comes with a bed frame. That’s a mattress with a frame. It’s not a bed. 🙂

  2. if it’s the headboard and footboard that makes it a bed… just try sleeping on THAT for a few nights… you will soon change your opinion and find that even if it’s just a mattress on the floor surrounded by dirty laundry… it is indeed a bed and you’ll be glad to have it!

  3. What if, like my wife and I, you have a headboard but no footboard? Is this a half bed, or is there a totally new word to be made up for this? I wish someone could answer me. Maybe the Holiday Inn Express guy could help us out. Since he stays in a hotel so much, I bet he knows a thing or two about different beds, non-beds, or whatever. 🙂

  4. The basic point here is not whether you have a bed or not. If you’ve got a horizontal, padded, and elevated sleeping surface, that’s pretty close to something like a bed.* The issue here is probably that your wife wants a new bed, thus the disparaging of your current sleeping platform.

    Oh, and the headboard but no footboard thing? Just paint a footboard on the opposite wall. When you’re in the bed, it looks so real.

    *There are some exceptions to this rule. Hammocks, counches, recliners, sleeping bags on a table, and inflatable mattresses are an exception to this rule. Have you ever suggested to your wife that you could get a big hammock instead of a bed? Don’t.

  5. I could see this argument going on for a while, so let’s take what should be the first step in any debate or argument of this kind : define the terms. Here’s the official definition, according to The Free Dictionary:

    “A piece of furniture for reclining and sleeping, typically consisting of a flat, rectangular frame and a mattress resting on springs.”

    So it is indeed a bed regardless of whether you have any decorative furniture attached to the frame. Just what I figured… 🙂

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