There are companies now selling “carbon credits”, making billions of dollars. But carbon is not the only element contributing to global warming. Researchers say methane is 23 times more potent than carbon dioxide in trapping heat in the atmosphere. As we discussed in the last post, cows contribute significantly to global warming via the methane they produce with their flatulence. But I’m willing to overlook that, because they play an important role in my diet.
However, there are some people who produce an undue amount of methane, way more than normal. These people are not only polluting the immediate atmosphere, but they are contributing to global warming. Of course, some of them might get offended if I told them they had to quit passing gas and belching so much, and you could argue that I would be infringing on their rights. So I’ve found a good solution. Effective immediately, I will be selling methane credits. That’s right, for a small fee (paid to me), you can pass gas all you want, and I will plant trees to offset your personal pollution. (I will also give you plenty of personal space!)