caption contest, two fat guys

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How about another caption contest for this week?  [much cheering imagined in the background]  Okay, then let’s get to it.

What's going on here?

What is going on here?

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

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27 responses »

  1. Man in Middle: We thank you two for being our guest speakers today, and for proving to the people in our support group that, just as you did, they can INDEED beat anorexia too.

  2. Big guy on right to less big guy on left: “You are such a wuss… you’re not HALF the man I am. Even your MaMa thinks I’m the MAN!”

    skinny guy in middle: “OOOOOH! he’s talking ’bout your Mama! you’re not gonna take that are you?”

    guy on left: “take it back! don’t make me have to get up from here!”

  3. Guy in Middle: I present to you both the prestigious “200 Starving Africans” award, to commemorate how many people could have been fed by the food you ate today. It’s not an easy award to get, most contestants in the “Get really fat” game only make it to the “100 Starving Africans” level.

    Fat Guy: I’m honored to accept this award. It wasn’t easy, but through hard work, perserverance, and eating a crapton of food, we did it!

    Really Fat Guy: There’s a contest for this? I was just tired of never having any armrests on my chair, and just kept eating until I grew my own armrests.

  4. Fat Guy: Oh, this isn’t actually fat. It’s the hopes and dreams of the owners of every single buffet that’s we’ve visited.

    Really Fat Guy: I’m single-handedly responsible for the demise of the 24 hour buffet.

  5. Guy on right: “I’m glad these chairs don’t have armrests on them.”
    Man in middle: “Sir, they did, until you sat down.”
    Guy on right: “Huh? Did you say something? I couldn’t hear you over my stomach growling. I haven’t eaten in two hours! Where’s the buffet?”

  6. Guy in Middle (sumo wrestling coach): Yes, you have to wear the diaper. No, I can’t make an exception just for you. No, I don’t think the diaper makes your butt look big.

  7. Man in the middle: “Guys, you have to leave now.”
    Guy on right: “Why, is the buffet closed?”
    Man in the middle: “No, the buffet has been destroyed.”

  8. Fat Guy: Where’s the buffet table at? I don’t see it anywhere.

    Guy in Middle: This is a performance by Jimmy Buffett, there’s not actually a meal here.

    Really Fat Guy: Idiot! I told you we should have stopped for food on the way here.

    Fat Guy: Soooo hungery. Haven’t eaten in 30 minutes…

  9. Guy on right: “Being fat isn’t all bad — just the other day I enjoyed the pleasure of offering my seat to three ladies.”

  10. Those guys are two agents sent in by John McCain to cripple Obama’s campaign budget at the “all you can eat” fundraiser dinner.

    Fat guy #1: “How many times is he going to say the word change?”
    Fat guy #2: “It’s time for change…a change into a bigger pair of pants!”

    Mission Accomplished

  11. Man in the middle: “Gentlemen…”
    Guy on the left: “Are you talking to us?”
    Man in the middle: “I’m going to have to ask you to please stop burping and passing gas. It is very inconsiderate of the other guests.”
    Guy on the right: “Passing gas is… hold on… PBPBPBPBPB… PT!… whoa, that was a nice out!”
    Man in the middle: “That was not nice, sir!”
    Guy on the right: “Like I was saying, passing gas is a natural bodily function; I cannot apologize.”

  12. Guy on the left: “I just don’t understand why there aren’t women falling at our feet. We followed my dad’s advice wholeheartedly since childhood.”
    Guy in the middle: “Women want men with flat stomachs and fat wallets. Perchance did you get that backwards?”
    Guy on the right: “Oh… that might explain some things…”

  13. Guy in middle: Guys, you’re gonna have to go on the disabled list. Tests shows you are suffering from a torn inseam and a stress fracture in your belt.

  14. Waiter (in middle): “Gentlemen, the buffet is now closed. You have eaten the entire buffet, and we are out of food.”

    Guy on right: “But I’m still hungry…”

    Waiter: “Inconceivable…”

    Guy on left: “You keep using that word… I do not think it means what you think it means…”

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