I’m about to tell you a strange story. It’s one that you’ve never heard of. You could say it’s quite obscure in most parts of the world. I usually don’t tell tales such as this here, but today is an exception. I guess you could say I’m just in a story-telling mood today.
Every year on December 12th (12/12), something unusual happens. There’s a peculiar man who goes around the tri-state area bringing holiday cheer with food. Nobody knows his real name, but they call him Bag O’Donuts. This is his moniker because he carries a magical bag of donuts (doughnuts) on this special day / holiday.
This special bag has within it every kind of donut — any kind you can imagine. And the donuts are always fresh, similar to the ones you get off the line at Krispy Kreme where they almost melt in your mouth. But this magical bag works only one day per year, making it a most special day for all who love donuts.
Mr. Bag O. Donuts has done this every year for a while now, establishing a tradition you could say, except one particular year, and that was when a man named Fab stole the magical bag of donuts. Fab and Mr. Donuts were talking about the magical bag, how it worked, when Fab simply pulled the wool over Mr. Bag Donuts’ eyes (literally). While Donut-Man struggled to unfleece himself, Fab escaped with the oft-coveted bag. Fab hid in the pea patch, and ate donuts all night long. He ate glazed, chocolate-filled, cream-filled, chocolate-covered, cream sticks, custard donuts, strawberry shortcakes, twists, etc. — all he could imagine. It was better than a wagon full of pancakes! He ate and ate, until he could eat no more. In fact, he ate so many donuts that he began to look like one!
A search party eventually found Fab in the pea patch, asleep with the bag at his side and donuts in each hand. But it was too late for Mr. Doughnuts to make his run — the clock had struck midnight, thus the bag’s special powers went dormant, and many people suffered free donut withdrawals. It was truly tragic.
Now Baggy Donuts won’t bring donuts to Fab anymore, although I hear they are on talking terms now. Fab denies the incident ever happened, but don’t believe him. Rumor has it that sometimes on Dec. 12, late at night, you can still find Fab wandering around the pea patch, longing for the endless donuts once again. Some say he has a donut-shaped hole in his soul, leaving him restless and endlessly hungry.
Now you know… the rest of the story.