bird poop facials — only $180

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I’ve heard of people drinking coffee made from poop, which is crazy enough.  But at least it’s cooked and processed to some degree.  Now there’s a new use for poop.  (But wait, there’s more!)

Now a spa in New York City is offering bird poop facials for $180 each.  Supposedly it gently exfoliates the skin.  I’m no beauty expert, but aren’t there other ways to do that?  Anyway, it’s called a “geisha facial”, which is supposedly a Japanese beauty secret.  (I’m thinking I’d keep the ingredients list secret if this was my product, but I’m no marketing expert, either.)

I know what some of you are thinking — “But you never mentioned the smell!!!”  🙂  Of course they have to account for that; how many people would stay in a spa if it smelled like crap?  At this spa, they surround you with aromas of camellia, lavender, and rose.  They mix the bird poop with a rice bran, so it supposedly smells like toasted rice.  The treatment begins with steam to open the pores and soften the skin, then they leave this poop mixture on your face for five minutes.  I guess they want the bird poop to soak in.  (Remember, they’re a professional business and they charge you a lot of money, so obviously they must know what they’re doing.)  The owner says the bird feces brings out the dirt and dust that builds up in the skin and leaves the customer feeling refreshed.

poop - jar of poopOh, and they don’t use just any ol’ bird poop, because that would be gross.  It’s only from nightingales, because they eat seeds that produce the natural enzyme that is the active ingredient.  Seems to me it would be good to cut out the middleman in this situation…

The article says that about 100 people get this pooperizing procedure done at this spa every month, which, doing the math, brings in $18,000 — every month.  That’s a lot of money for a procedure using bird poop and rice bran.  Seems like a high-profit business to be in.  They must be doing something right.  (I’d guess it’s the advertising and promotion — how else are you going to convince people to pay big bucks to get poop smeared on their face?)

A doctor (also in New York) has predicted that animal extracts will grow in popularity, that they offer “a new definition of natural”, because some marketed natural products could be harmful to the skin.  However, I also learned that because this is sold as a cosmetic rather than a drug, there is no obligation to back up their claims with evidence.

What’s going to be the next use of poop?  Actually, never mind — I don’t want to know.

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6 responses »

  1. that’s just a new definition of crazy! heck! i’d be willing to throw poop at you for less than half that.
    … one other thing I must mention… you started the article with “I’ve heard of people drinking coffee made from poop …But at least it’s cooked and processed to some degree” cooked to some degree? like that should really matter? I dont care if you mixed it 1% poop with 99% tasty food… i’m NOT eating it, but hey… if you like the taste of poop who am I to judge? oh wait… i’m a person who DOESN’T like the taste of poop. okay, rant over… I really need to start up that septic system pumping / lawn greenerizing business… now with a side business that provides expensive facials.

      • stupidhead! there are some things you dont have to taste to know that it’d taste terrible… It’s pretty safe to assume that poop would be one of them.

  2. If people are willing to pay big money for poop, then maybe I’ll start a poop farm… Except farms with animals already produce inordinate amounts of poop. Maybe they should start selling it. Companies already use guano (bat poop) in makeup, now they put bird poop on your face. Might as well use cow patties for something. Figure out how to get people to pay for it, and farmers can start making a profit again.

    I do agree this is all crazy talk… but if someone is willing to pay for it…

    Oh, and along the lines of throwing poop at people for half that, we’ll get some trained monkeys who work for peanuts, so we’ll profit and produce more entertainment, so we can raise rates. Not only is it funny (for other people), it’s good for your face. The marketing angle is: revolutionary organic beauty treatment which recycles (so it’s good for the environment) and which people would pay to see and it raises awareness of the plight of endangered animals and lowers the animal unemployment rate… 🙂 And it makes us rich while people get poop flung in their face. It’s a win-win for everyone!

  3. Pingback: diet colas with artificial poop | Buffet o' Blog

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