Greetings, citizen…

Welcome to Buffet o’ Blog.  You have found our About page.  Grab a glass of tea, have a seat, relax, and I’ll tell you about myself and this blog.  There are three writers here, but two of them are slackers when it comes to writing new posts, so I do most of the work.  And as such, I will be your guide on this journey.  My name is Beppo.

This blog is meant to be humorous.  (Hopefully that’s obvious!)  So don’t take it too seriously.  Laughing is good for you, and it’s even good for your health — it’s like jogging on the inside.  Everyone should laugh more, and so this blog is for everyone.  Of course, not everyone will find it funny, but that’s okay.  To each their own.  If you’re a professionally-humorless person, then maybe it’s not for you.  Although, if that’s you, you should definitely lighten up and laugh more.  Life is much harder if you never laugh, and you tend to get offended a lot, which is not fun for anyone.  So go ahead and laugh…

One of the special features of this blog is that at least 95% of the material is original.  We usually don’t copy jokes from other sites, because we’re also tired of hearing the same old stuff.  Our humor is made fresh from scratch every day.  The humor can also take various forms, such as jokes, puns, irony, although our specialty is randomness.  And all of the humor is family-safe.  We keep it clean, because we are Christians, and we don’t want to fill our minds with filth.

There are some recurring themes on the blog, like , (where anyone can contribute to them), and .  There are also certain characters who consistently participate, creating an atmosphere like a community (or like a comic book, as one person has said).  Either way, it’s one of those situations where the more you read the posts and comments, the more you enjoy the site, because you get more of the inside jokes.

When you’ve had your fill of laughter for the day, feel free to check out my other blog, Thinking Outside the Box.  It’s more on the serious side, which is also important.

You are more than welcome to participate in the comments of any post, regardless of how old it is.  Actually, you are encouraged to, if you can think of anything good to add.  It’s a lot more fun when more people write.  The more, the merrier.  Just keep it clean.  If you post something vulgar or blatantly offensive, it will be edited or deleted.  I will be the judge of that, and my decisions are final.

Since so many people get offended these days and want to sue everyone, we have some disclaimers.  But these aren’t your grandfather’s disclaimers (whatever that means).  These disclaimers are actually fun to read, particularly when you get to the extended version below.  So keep reading.

Important Disclaimer: Answers and comments provided on Buffet o’ Blog are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice.  Buffet o’ Blog does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service, or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments.  In layman’s terms, it’s not our fault!

Extended Version Disclaimer: This blog reflects the thoughts, opinions, ideas, and body odor of myself; it does not reflect the thoughts, opinions, ideas, and/or body odor of my company, my friends, my wife, my pets, or my trash.  All rights reserved, all lefts reserved.  This blog is subject to change without notice.  Any resemblance to actual blogs, programs, people, or lizards, is unintentional and purely coincidental.  This blog may not be updated every day, because sometimes I’ve got stuff to do.  No substitutions allowed.  This message is a void pointer to null where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted.  Ideas and concepts are provided “as is” without any warranties expressed or implied. User assumes full liabilities.  Not liable for damages due to use or misuse or inability to understand.  An equal opportunity electron employer.  No shirt, no shoes, I hope you’re at home.  Quantities are limited while supplies last.  Quality and your mileage may vary.  Since each post is hand-crafted, there will be slight differences in each object.  If defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center.  No Spitting.  Keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children.  No money down.  No purchase necessary.  You do not need to be present to win.  Batteries not included.  Action figures sold separately.  Preservatives added to improve freshness.  If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use.  Use only with proper ventilation.  Avoid extreme temperatures.  Store in a cool dry place.  Refrigerate after opening.  Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes.  Avoid contact with eyes.  Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit.  If this message begins to smoke, run, do not walk, towards the nearest exit.  Do not place near any magnetic source.  You are not in Kansas any more.  Code used in this blog was made from 100% recycled electrons.  Prosecutors will be violated.  No animals were used to test the functionality of this blog.  No extra salt, MSG, artificial color, or flavoring added.  If ingested, do not induce vomiting.  If symptoms persist, consult a humorologist.  Allow four to six seconds for delivery.  Actually, I am a mouse in the middle of an incredibly complicated plot to take over the world.  Caveat emptor.  Read at your own risk.  Text may contain material some readers may find objectionable.  If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.  For indoor and outdoor use only.  Not to be used for other use.  See participating dealers for details.  Participation constitutes agreement to these terms.  This disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, or any other natural disaster, misuse, neglect, repair, attempted modification, bugs in the code, damage from improper installation, incorrect line voltage, cosmic rays, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, and incidents related to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, alien attack, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying squirrels, verbal assaults, or house arrest.  Other restrictions may apply.

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10 responses »

  1. Clint Punch,

    I’m glad you like the site, but I don’t want to add your link to my blogroll. The reason being that your blog has lots of explicit language that I don’t want to endorse. I will leave your comments, though. And you’re welcome to still link to this blog or an article here.

  2. In reference to this part of the disclaimer :

    > If defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center.

    I saw some defects in the “brain declogger” post, specifically some typos. It looks like the editor was on vacation on that one…

    I didn’t try to fix it myself, but I need to know where an authorized service center is. Should I print out the whole blog and take it to them?

  3. (please read with heavy greekish accent)
    What? there are no typos! sure, I omitted a bit of punctuation… but I am unaware of typos! even if there were… Dyslexic boB feel un-sympathetic!

  4. Clever site! I’m looking for sites that I find humorous or different to add to my blogroll, and this one fits the bill. Thanks for the randomness and chuckles – I’ll check back frequently!

  5. Greetings from the Grassy Knoll Institute. My question concerns the rankings of the humor site, TOP.ORG. I see that you are ranked #4 with 103 views. Currently I am ranked #3 with 40 views. However, when viewing my stats, only a couple of visitors came via TOP.ORG.

    The question:
    Has your blog received traffic from TOP.ORG?

  6. Pingback: teaching students with explosions « Buffet o' Blog

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