Tag Archives: Chuck Norris

more of The 3 Stooges, please

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The staff here at Buffet o’ Blog all recently saw The 3 Stooges movie.  With us being all guys, we thought the movie was awesome.  It could’ve done without the woman dressing immodestly — there was no need for trashiness.  Overall, we thought it was very funny and mostly true to the original series.  However, somehow the movie concluded without there being a food fight. I don’t get it.  Such a scene was all setup at one point, and we all thought it was coming, but it never happened.  Were the directors trying to psyche us out, or did they just forget?

Anyway, this isn’t just a review of the movie.  I got to thinking about a further application of something that happened in the movie.  (Mini-spoiler alert.)  When Moe went to be on the reality TV show Jersey Shore, that was hilarious.  None of us watch Jersey Shore (do I even need to explain why?), but we all joked that it might be worth watching if someone like Moe was actually on the show.  (Well, I still wouldn’t watch that show because of all the immorality, but follow the idea.)  There are many shows that could benefit from the addition of The 3 Stooges.  The most obvious application is a parody movie involving them (or a reasonable facsimile) inserted into scenes reminiscent of other movies and/or TV shows.  But the concept could be expanded to all kinds of television shows.

I realize there are legal complications with this idea, but that’s for lawyers to iron out.  The point is, this idea would make many TV shows and movies more interesting, and you’d get more men to watch, which makes more money, so it’s a win-win situation.  Add The 3 Stooges to a chick flick, and it would become a romantic comedy that’s actually funny.  (Although the idea might not resonate well with women — some women find their brand of humor repulsive.  I don’t understand… wait, I already said that.)  🙂  Regardless of the gender culture gap, this could help many shows.

The next time you watch TV, imagine how the inclusion of The 3 Stooges would impact what you’re watching.  And if you want to take the idea even further, check out our post on how to make any movie awesome.  This idea fits in perfectly with that concept.  In fact, combine both ideas — take any show or movie, add the 3 Stooges, plus ninjas, car chases, wrecks, military-grade weapons, explosions, epic fight scenes, Chuck Norris, Jackie Chan, Mr. T, Buford T. Justice, Rosco P. Coltrane, etc., and it would be awesome beyond description.  (We should definitely be directing movies!)

randomness with Chuck Norris joke

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I realize Chuck Norris jokes have been around for years, so this one I’m going to share might not be new, but it’s just so random, so it fits in here.

When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

I mean, that just doesn’t make any sense whatsoever, yet it’s funny.  It’s amusing to say Chuck Norris is all-powerful and can do all things, but now can he traverse the spacetime continuum?  Or does he have infinite lives?

how to make any movie awesome

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If you watch movies with any regularity, you have realized that some movies just aren’t that great.  Well, let’s be honest, some movies siphon (that’s a nicer way of saying they suck).  Perhaps it is inevitable.  As the great philosophers Beavis & Butt-head once said, “You have to have stuff that sucks so you can tell the stuff that’s cool.”  As crazy as it sounds, there’s some sense to that.  If everything was at the same quality level, nothing would stand out as exceptional.  But I think there are exceptions to that.  For example, there are some things that are just always cool when done right in a movie, like explosions, car chases, incredible wrecks, massive destruction, tanks, powerful weapons (like rocket launchers, grenade launchers, flamethrowers, etc), Chuck Norris, Mr. T, etc.

What got me to thinking about this was a discussion that restarted at one of our popular posts: I want a tank to drive around town.  A couple of movies were referenced that have tank chases in them.  I’ve seen the one in Goldeneye (a James Bond movie), and I could watch it over and over because it’s so awesome.  Thomas Wayne said this about tank chases:

Seems like more movie directors would find a way to work it in.  I know, it may not seem to fit in all movies, but when you have full access to the script, you can make it fit!  Well, perhaps not everyone has the creative prowess of yours truly, but the movie studios could submit it to Buffet o’ Blog and collectively we could make any movie awesome!  🙂

I have to agree — we could make any movie awesome.   Just look at our free-for-all stories.  So much creativity and humor and action — something for everyone.   So I started wondering if it would indeed be possible to make any movie awesome by making a few modifications to the script.  For instance, if a movie was getting too bogged down with depressing emotional scenes, just have someone pull out a flamethrower and add a few explosions, or have Mr. T come in and talk some sense to them, or have someone drive a tank through the room.  (Or even better, have some crazy amalgamation of all that — Mr. T driving a tank into the room, jumping out, yelling at some stupid people, punching a few folks, then taking a flamethrower to the place, resulting in massive explosions!)  Surely that would make the movie better!  And of course it would add value to the movie, therefore viewers wouldn’t think they were getting ripped off by high ticket prices.   So it becomes a win-win situation.

So the next time you’re watching a TV show or movie that starts getting boring and you can’t change the channel or leave, think about what could be done to make the movie better.  Just imagine how one of these scenarios would improve the movie.  And if you come up with some awesome ideas we haven’t mentioned yet, tell us about it in a comment to this post.  Or add it to our current free-for-all story (the first story at the link above).  Anyone can contribute to those, and the rules are simple.  (And you can subscribe to just that post, so you’ll automatically receive the next chapter via e-mail.  It’s a guaranteed good time!)

funny pictures, episode 8

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Here’s a few more pics from my collection of funny pictures, starting with a funny basketball photo.  After that, there’s pictures covering topics like: Chuck Norris action jeans, a kid trying to be a gangsta’ on a Barbie bicycle, a guy painting his white car with a black permanent marker, and a guy who drove his car into a flooded area.

What's going on? Who turned out the lights?

If doing roundhouse kicks tends to rip your jeans (I hate it when that happens!), then this is the product for you!

Are you gangsta' enough to be cool on a Barbie bicycle? (No.)

Crappiness is recession proof.

I think it's flooded...

If you have any funny comments to go with any of these pictures, you’re welcome to share them in a comment for us all to enjoy.  Or if you feel inspired and creative enough to somehow connect all these pictures in a single story, give it a try.

(To see more funny pictures, click on the “Funny Pictures” category in the sidebar.)

Chuck Norris vs a bear

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What would happen if a bear attacked Chuck Norris?  There is a video from Walker Texas Ranger that resolves the question.

As you can see, the bear made a surprise attack on Chuck Norris from behind.  Obviously the bear didn’t realize who he was messing with.  Fighting a bear while laying on the ground would be a losing proposition for most people.  You might have dreams of how you would fend it off, but a bear is so many times stronger than a normal human.  But of course, in this video, this isn’t an ordinary human — it’s Chuck Norris.  So he wrestles the bear back, stands to his feet, and then stares the bear down.  I figure his “death stare” was probably conveying the information “I’m Chuck Norris, and if you don’t depart immediately, you will surely die.”  Wisely, the bear left.

I like how they used a judicious amount of slow-motion footage, to add drama to it, even though there’s no way Chuck Norris gets killed by a bear.  And it’s humorous how the woman picked up a stick like she was gonna help, but she just stood there watching.

Oh, and BTW, Chuck Norris doesn’t bleed.  I know it looks like there was some blood on his shirt and hand, but it was either the bear’s blood, or he had some ketchup packets in his pocket.

caption contest, Chuck Norris

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It’s Monday, and some of you are probably anxiously awaiting the next caption contest.  (If you’re not, you should be, because this is awesome!)  🙂  Anyway, regardless of your expectations, here it is.

This week I’m using an animated picture, featuring Chuck Norris and some woman in a car.  I don’t know exactly what the context is for this scene, but that’s part of the fun in writing captions — you get to decide.  You can write dialog for Chuck Norris, the woman, or provide narration.  However you do it, have fun.

chuck-norris-dealing-with-woman-wanting-to-drive

(To see the other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

finding Chuck Norris

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You wanna see something random from a large corporation?  This is from Google, which has quite a sense of humor for a company.  Here’s one I found recently.

Go to the main Google search page, then type “find Chuck Norris” (with or without the quotes), then click “I’m Feeling Lucky”.

Try it…

Be sure to continue reading through the suggestions.