Tag Archives: farting

new music that’s funny and random

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I recently heard about a new music album that is both funny and random, so naturally it’s a good fit for this blog.  The album is called “Bringin’ da Phat”, by DJ Turbo-Lax and MC Refried Breeze.  That should tell you something about it right there.  (I tell ya, you can find anything on the Internet!)  As you might surmise by the artist names, the songs have random acts of flatulence in them.  So that automatically divides the audience.  If you get offended by such things, you’ve been forewarned.  But if you can laugh at farting, you might hurt yourself laughing at these songs.

I listen to a lot of music, but I must admit I’ve never heard anything like this before.  The beat changes often, jumping between genres at will.  You will be surprised.  The vocal phrases and utterings combined with the sound effects are hilarious.  So perhaps it’s “toilet humor”, but it’s clean, other than the resulting skid marks.  Some of the beats jam, too.

You can listen to it for free at Spotify, although you have to install the player if you haven’t already.  It’s also available for purchase at eMusic, Amazon, and iTunes.  Of course you can listen to samples of the tracks on those last 3 sites.

Regarding the album art, yeah, it might be a low-budget production, but the sound quality is good, and in addition to hearing a cornucopia of beats, it will make you laugh.  Not many songs can say that.

So if you can stomach this kind of humor, I recommend checking it out.

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Are dinosaurs extinct because of their farting?

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In the news recently, British scientists (“boffins”) have announced that dinosaurs’ reckless farting might have led to their extinction.  Read for yourself:

Dinosaurs may have farted themselves to extinction, according to a new study from British scientists.

The researchers calculated that the prehistoric beasts pumped out more than 520 million tons (472 million tonnes) of methane a year — enough to warm the planet and hasten their own eventual demise.

Until now, an asteroid strike and volcanic activity around 65 million years ago had seemed the most likely cause of their extinction. …

“Our calculations suggest these dinosaurs may have produced more methane than all the modern sources, natural and human, put together.”

“Not the momma!”

Yeah, I called it reckless farting.  (Have you ever heard those two words together before?)  It’s bad enough to just fart whenever you want, but when the air becomes unsuitable for life, it’s time to change policy.  I realize they’re just animals, but you’d think they could’ve figured it out.  Even animals can learn by conditioning (like Pavlov’s dogs).  Here, you’d think after millions of years, they’d figure out a disturbing pattern.  Por ejemplo: [fart]  “Whew, that stinks.”  [fart again]  “That’s some stank-terribleness.”  [fart again]  “I can hardly breathe…”  [fart again]  “I’m about to die!”  The pattern is obvious.

Doesn’t it seem odd that there are people who get paid to calculate how much dinosaurs passed gas?  Imagine meeting new people and they ask you what you do — “I study dinosaur farts.”  You’d get some weird reactions, I’m sure.  But you’d be a hit at the elementary school on bring-your-parent-to-school day.  🙂

funny pictures, episode 11

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I already know that some upcoming posts will feature ranting and rambling and nerdiness.  While you wait, here’s some funny pictures for your viewing pleasure.

This is from the Rosco P. Coltrane school of flying.

This would make a great conversation starter. Except that people everywhere would be laughing at you.

There are people who live this way, who hunt gators for a living. Now they even have their own TV show called Swamp People. Crazy...

While that may happen, some people fart so much that it's always dangerous to go to their cubicle...

I hope he's not a heavy sleeper!

(To see more funny pictures, click on the “Funny Pictures” category in the sidebar.)

free remix of MP3 comedy song

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One of my friends was playing around with his keyboard and some effects it had, like looping drum beats and having laughter tied to the synth part.  He recorded it and sent it to me, just to show what he had done.  It seemed to be lacking something, so I forwarded it to D.J. Funky Dogg, who added some music effects to it, along with various sound effects and vocal utterances (plus some, uhh, other utterances).   It’s quite funny, if you find flatulence funny.  So I’m providing the download link for those who enjoy such things.  Just so you know, the file is about 1MB and the song is about 1 minute long.

First, a couple of disclaimers:

1) Obviously, if you are offended by the audible passing of gas, you should not download this free MP3.
2) If you are around people who can’t handle “potty humor”, you should listen on headphones.
3) If you are at work in a cubicle farm, go ahead and crank it up on your computer speakers — it’ll make everyone’s day a little more surreal.  🙂  (Though if folks think you’re uncouth, that’s yo’ problem!)
4) If you hurt yourself laughing, you don’t laugh often enough.  Subscribe to this blog and review the archives for help with that.
5) If you laugh at this, you can forward the link to this post to your friends who also appreciate this brand of humor.  That’s all we ask.

Okay, with that out of the way, here’s the link: Test Rekkerd (Stank Drawz Remix).mp3.

This track is released to the public “as is”, with no warranty expressed or implied.  It is also free, and you cannot claim it as your own and try to sell it.  If you do pirate this recording, we WILL find out and we’ll call J.G. Wentworfth to get our money NOW!

If you would like to have D.J. Funky Dogg remix your track, he is available for an exorbitant fee, although sometimes he will do things for us for fun (because we’re so cool and he diggs this blog), so you can send it to us via our contact form and we’ll see what happens.

warnings for hot dogs?

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There’s a vegan advocacy group that is suing 5 of the major hot dog manufacturers, wanting a cancer-risk warning label to be placed on all hot dog packages sold in New Jersey.  (Only New Jersey?)  The lawsuit is on behalf of 3 New Jersey residents who bought hot dogs without knowing that they are (supposedly) a cause of colorectal cancer.  Well, the reason there’s no such warning is that such a claim has never been proven scientifically.  (And that seems like a valid reason.)

The president of the Cancer Project (who filed this lawsuit) compares the health risk of eating hot dogs to the lung cancer risk of smoking cigarettes.   I’m thinking WHATEVER.  Only when science backs that up will I believe such a claim.

If they start putting these warning labels on hot dogs, then we might as well throw the whole bathtub out with the bathwater.  How about this?   I think certain restaurants need a warning label for potential flatulence.   If a particular restaurant tends to give you gas (for example, Taco Bell), that could put your social status at risk.  Suppose you’re about to go in for a major job interview, but you’ve got a rumbly in your tumbly because of eating a few double cheesy beefy burritos.  It happens!  (Sadly, in today’s over-the-top “politically correct” society, I could see such a thing passing…)

penalized for farting during soccer game

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In the news, a football (soccer) player in Europe was penalized for farting during a game.  The official considered it “ungentlemanly conduct”.  What in the world?!?  That kind of thing is gonna happen sometimes, especially when you’re out on a field for hours and running around.  Besides, it’s a natural bodily function.

The incident happened at a bad time for the player’s team, because they are currently without a sponsor.  Perhaps Beano should sponsor them.  🙂

fart interrupts city council meeting

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I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a city council meeting or seen one on TV, but they can be quite boring.   So obviously it would lighten things up if someone were to rip one outloud.  That’s what happens at the meeting in the video below, and the council members try to be responsible adults and not laugh, but it’s hard to not laugh at a well-timed fart (or two).

For some reason, this kind of thing happens all the time at Buffet o’ Blog staff meetings.  Never a boring moment…