Tag Archives: humor

Yosemite Sam and Nerf guns

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If someone is annoying you by repeatedly shooting you with a Nerf gun in the office, what do you do?  If diplomacy doesn’t work, you respond with a bigger gun.  🙂

For some reason, my intro reminded me of Yosemite Sam.  (Yeah, I watched a lot of Looney Tunes growing up.)  Here’s the quote:

Yeah?  Well, I talk LOUDLY and I carry a bigger stick.  And I use it, too!  WHAM! ~ Yosemite Sam, on foreign policy

I’m not sure I’d want Yosemite Sam as a minister of foreign affairs, but he might do better than some of the current politicians…  He would certainly be more amusing and funny, although not intentionally.  Consider this:

Whether playing a buccaneer, Arabian knight or the roughest, toughest, meanest, old prospector west of the Pecos, Yosemite Sam’s slapstick physical humor always sets his audiences laughing.  This rootin’, tootin’, six gun shootin’, varmit-huntin’ wild man of the west believes in his own innate superiority and charges his way into one misadventure after another — and as loudly as possible.  The only thing shorter than the fuse on his temper is Yosemite Sam himself and this walking keg of dynamite is always ready for action.  From his ten gallon hat to his fire red mustache, Yosemite Sam is the most flamboyant of all Bugs Bunny’s adversaries.  But the funniest thing about Yosemite Sam is that he has absolutely no sense of humor which makes him the perfect foil, or fool, for Bugs Bunny.

It’s amazing that he’s so funny despite having no sense of humor.  Ironically, that might suit him as a politician, since most of them are professionally humorless (which is lame and boring).

caption contest: car wreck – how did this happen

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We haven’t had a caption contest recently, so let’s get that restarted.  It’s real simple to play — think of something funny / humorous to go with this picture.  The only rule is to keep it clean.  And regardless of whether you have anything to contribute, you can enjoy the comments other people leave, too.

car between buildings

Let me also add that comments usually pour in over the next week, so this is the type of post that it’s good to check back on.  You can also subscribe to the comments (whether for just this post or all comments) if you would rather be notified that way.

(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

epic fails in amateur athletics

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Some readers have requested more funny videos, so I’m bringing you another one.  It’s easy enough to find funny videos by searching YouTube, but that usually ends up wasting a lot of time, so I don’t do that too often.  This video happens to be a commercial for Liberty Mutual Insurance called Amateur Athletes.  Normally I’d prefer to link to a non-commercial video, but this one is actually pretty good.  It could also be called athletics gone wrong or epic fails in athletics.

If you’re still unsure about whether or not to spend 30 seconds watching this, here’s what happens: There’s a guy who tries to dunk a basketball but fails in a spectacular way, a guy who tries to do a roundhouse kick but learns he’s no Chuck Norris, and a guy throwing a football that starts a fire in a tailgater’s car.  Classic stuff…  I bet they had fun making this commercial.

There needs to be more commercials where stuff catches on fire…  🙂

cashier beatboxing

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Here’s a video of Beardyman at a supermarket / grocery store, where he starts out as a bored cashier but gets inspired to do some beatboxing along the way.  If only the cashiers at Walmart could do this…

He has a number of other videos out, and he performs live, too.  If you care to experience more of his “beatology”, here’s a music video of DOLBYMAN featuring Beardyman performing all the parts, which covers several musical genres.

 

explaining Dennis Rodman as U.S. ambassador

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Recently Dennis Rodman met with North Korea leader Kim Jong Un, and then he went to Rome to hopefully meet with the new Pope.  I haven’t heard a valid explanation of how this could’ve happened.  Rodman was a basketball star in the NBA years ago, but is he famous in North Korea?  Or did he achieve this meeting with some shuckin’ and jivin’?  Either way, no one knows.  But this picture below might be the best explanation I’ve heard thus far.

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Super Bowl randomness

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It’s a few weeks after the big game, but that doesn’t matter.  Either you’ll like this or you won’t.  (That could probably apply to any post, although more so for this one, since it’s about football.)  Anyway, I came across a blog where someone wrote a live update of the pregame and game, and it’s not your usual summary.  In addition to being funny, it’s a glimpse into how the game and commentary might look to someone who isn’t accustomed to American culture.  So much of this perspective we normally miss, just because it’s normal to us or we don’t bother to think about it.  Anyway, here’s some excerpts from the Super Bowl XLVII summary: The Superest Bowl Ever.

2:39: Bombshell! President Barack Obama DOESN’T KNOW WHO HE IS ROOTING FOR! We should impeach him! This somehow segues into a story about concussions. I assume they’re implying that Obama has a concussion, but I may be reading too much into it.

3:05: Chuck Pagano, the Indianapolis Colts head coach was hired, then was diagnosed with leukemia, then it went into remission. There is a lot of crying. Most of it is not from me, though, so kudos to me for being manly. Inspirational/depressing story #3.

3:20: CBS asked their Facebook fans which quarterback was the best. That is a great idea for deciding levels of talent. No one on Facebook will vote based on their biases.

3:36: Apparently Obama isn’t concerned about his son playing football since he only has two daughters. Bombshell! OBAMA IS SEXIST AND SAYS HIS DAUGHTERS WON’T BE INTERESTED IN PLAYING FOOTBALL BECAUSE THEY’RE GIRLS! No wonder the right hates him so much.

4:00: Football players explain that they are trying hard to win the Super Bowl while the “Saving Private Ryan” soundtrack plays in the background. I figured they were planning on phoning it in, so now I’m really looking forward to the game.

5:00: “The Kickoff Show” starts. What the crap have I been watching for the past 3 hours?

5:01: A bunch of retired NFL players start stories about their turn in the Super Bowl. They never finish the stories though before someone else starts talking. Either those players are all very bad at interrupting or the CBS editors have serious ADD.

6:05: The first quarter ends with the score 7-3. More importantly, I am eating wings. Therefore, I do not care about the stupid football game for the next half hour.

6:09: The Harbaughs’ parents are at the game. I was wondering if they were watching the game, but thank goodness someone had the answer for me.

6:13: The 49ers fumble and the Ravens recover. They really should have made a game-plan that involved not dropping the ball. I bet they do that next time.

6:28: Baltimore Ravens interception by Ed Reed leads to an awesome brawl. I am starting to sense that these two teams don’t get along. Maybe we should take a quick break, talk things out, then get back to the game after everyone has apologized to each other.

6:42: Subway uses a commercial spot to honor Jared for not being fat for 15 years. He appreciates it, I’m sure, but would probably prefer that they gave him something besides Subway to eat.

7:31: Kickoff for the second half is returned 109 yards for a Ravens’ touchdown. I now will spend the next 15 minutes wondering if I could even run 109 yards. 28-6 Ravens.

7:37: Extended silence from the announcers while they show that lights have gone out in the ceiling. One player is shown yelling at the lights. I’m surprised, but it didn’t seem to work.

7:41: A sideline reporter is telling us that the power is out. It was a very in-depth investigative report.

7:44: CBS sends it to the studio. They confirm that the lights are out. So, to summarized, the lights are out.

7:49: The lights are, according to the studio, still out. According to them, this makes it darker inside and will make the game more difficult. When I was a kid, I knew people who had glow in the dark Nerf footballs. The NFL should look into getting those.

7:52: The sideline reporter spoke to the players. It turns out that they aren’t afraid of the dark, so that’s a relief.

7:59: When the lights come back on, the studio analysts say the game will start again. That is the decision I would make if I were in charge of the game.

9:04: Kaepernick runs for a San Francisco touchdown. They go for a two-point conversion. If you get points for throwing the ball way over someone’s head, they succeeded. Since they don’t get points for that, It’s 31-29 Baltimore.

9:51: Toyota postgame show begins. Sponsored by Toyota.

Lessons learned from commercials tonight:

If you hire Century 21, the realtor will save your life or provide medical care, but only if you are looking for a house.

M&M’s would prefer that you do not eat them.

Parents don’t care about parties as long as you are drinking a delicious low calorie soda.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson cannot save the world from aliens, get cats out of a tree, or stop lions from mauling people without having a glass of milk first.

The Volkswagen makes people speak like Jamaicans. Weird product feature there.

Taco Bell makes old people do things like stupid youths.

Trucks are great for farmers.

Try applying original thinking the next time you’re watching a TV show or commercials.  Just how much is going on that is silly or absurd or random?

funny pictures, episode 16, political edition

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With today being election day and the predictions showing that it will be closer than it should be, it looks like half the voters will be disappointed when it’s all over.  So what better time for something funny?  Here’s more funny political pictures, to lighten the load.

I’m not sure Boss Hogg and Rosco P. Coltrane would do a better job than Obama or Romney, but they would be a LOT more entertaining!

Are zombies allowed to vote? Let’s hope not!

The government might as well sell it — they’ve already sold out on it.

Regardless of your stance on Obama’s policies, there is the very important issue of how we going to pay for it.

[A few weeks ago] Biden: “Shouldn’t we be fixing the economy instead of playing golf?” Obama: “Wait until we get closer to the next election. Then we’ll make things look better.”

Obama: Did I do that?

Kid, a lot of people are scared…

As always, if you have funny commentary to contribute to any of these pictures or topics, feel free to leave a comment.  (Just remember this is a humor site, so serious rants belong elsewhere.)

(To see more funny pictures, click on the “Funny Pictures” category in the sidebar.)