I figure at some point most everyone thinks it would be neat to somehow get in the Guinness Book of World Records. Today I had a random thought along those lines, but not for that purpose. I recently had a birthday (which was cancelled, BTW, for everyone who keeps bringing it up), and I was craving Cheetos. (We have some baked Cheetos here, which are good, though not quite the same… more like cheese popcorn than Cheetos. But I digress…) Anyway, if only I had a bag of Cheetos for every time someone said I was getting old… 🙂
Then I wondered what the world record would be for the most bags of Cheetos received as birthday gifts. That would be a fun record to break. 🙂 The concept could also be applied to Oreos…
I searched for a picture to go with this post and found this one. Supposedly the guy in the picture bought these industrial-sized bags of Cheetos direct from the factory for $65 per bag and bought 28 bags. I’m not sure I have sufficient space to store that many Cheetos in my house, and I’m most certain that the WAF (Wife Approval Factor) of that would be near 0. So maybe I won’t be chasing this world record after all… (though I still must admit it would be fun to try).
The other day I had a really random dream. That in itself is not surprising, because I really enjoy randomness (hence why I write on this blog). But what’s odd about it is that it featured a scenario I had never thought of before.
In my dream, I was at someone’s house, and the woman was loading the dishwasher, but instead of standard dishwashing detergent / soap, she poured in a chocolatey cereal, something like Cocoa Pebbles. Unfortunately I woke up and didn’t get to see how the dishes turned out, but I expect it would be the opposite of clean.
(A quick glance on Google didn’t find any images to go with this… maybe I just didn’t spend enough time, because supposedly you can find anything on the Internet. So you’ll just have to use your imagination to picture it, old-school style.) [Edit: Mango-Man sent in a picture to go with the post, so here it is.]
I don’t know how or why my brain created that scenario. I’ve never wondered what else you could put in a dishwasher besides soap. Although this does remind me that I heard someone once joke about putting their underwear / drawz in the dishwasher instead of dirty dishes, but I don’t think that’s a recommended usage, especially if there are dishes in there also.
Before yesterday’s post (ARRR!) we received a message here via the Contact Us form. (By the way, anyone can use it, and you can ask any question — see the link for details.) This message was a little unusual. I’ll let you see for yourself:
Message: yo, mr. blog dude. your blog promised to give me more than my ‘recommended allowance of randomness’ but there hasn’t been an update in almost 3 weeks! whats up with that? that’s like breach of contract and stuff. you better start posting new stuff, or i’m going to get my law degree from one of those online accredited universities and sue! that’s right! I’LL be the one enjoying the free cheesedip each month once this blog starts making money and not you! so help a brother out, and save me the $19.95 i’d have to spend on a law degree and post more stuff! you’ve been warned!
Okay, I know who this is from, and he can suck rocks. 🙂 But I will nonetheless address his concerns since he took the time to write.
1) There has been a lack of content lately, and while I have many valid excuses of various activities competing for my time, it will be suffice to sum up with: I had stuff to do. 🙂
2) There is no free cheese dip each month. (I wish!)
3) If you’re really desiring more content, here’s a fun thing to try. In the sidebar there is a link called Random Randomness, which takes you to a random post on this blog. There are very few readers (if any) who have read every post and all the comments. Besides, there’s great content that you might’ve forgotten about.
4) For additional enjoyment, click on “Say What” in the categories list, and read through the comments for the caption contests. The comments are what makes it great, and you’ll probably think of additional captions to add while you’re there.
I recently heard about a new music album that is both funny and random, so naturally it’s a good fit for this blog. The album is called “Bringin’ da Phat”, by DJ Turbo-Lax and MC Refried Breeze. That should tell you something about it right there. (I tell ya, you can find anything on the Internet!) As you might surmise by the artist names, the songs have random acts of flatulence in them. So that automatically divides the audience. If you get offended by such things, you’ve been forewarned. But if you can laugh at farting, you might hurt yourself laughing at these songs.
I listen to a lot of music, but I must admit I’ve never heard anything like this before. The beat changes often, jumping between genres at will. You will be surprised. The vocal phrases and utterings combined with the sound effects are hilarious. So perhaps it’s “toilet humor”, but it’s clean, other than the resulting skid marks. Some of the beats jam, too.
You can listen to it for free at Spotify, although you have to install the player if you haven’t already. It’s also available for purchase at eMusic, Amazon, and iTunes. Of course you can listen to samples of the tracks on those last 3 sites.
Regarding the album art, yeah, it might be a low-budget production, but the sound quality is good, and in addition to hearing a cornucopia of beats, it will make you laugh. Not many songs can say that.
So if you can stomach this kind of humor, I recommend checking it out.
One of the loyal readers of the blog told me he had a home-landscaping idea — he is gonna make a sidewalk out of burnt biscuits. That would be a unique look and texture. It might make guests feel fat, as their weight crushes the biscuits. And you might have an issue with birds taking it away. And I don’t know how it would hold up to heavy rain… so it might not be the best idea ever, but it was certainly random, so it earned a place here.
On a side note, I’ve always said you can find anything on the Internet, but a cursory search did not find any pictures of a sidewalk made of burned biscuits. Someone should do something about that… the reputation of the Internet is at stake… 🙂
On a related note, when biscuits got burnt at deer camp, we used to play baseball with them, using a broomstick for a bat. You can throw a wicked curve with a biscuit!
We get a lot of dumb/crazy spam here, and fortunately the spam filter catches most of it. Occasionally it’ll catch a real comment, so I glance at it once in a while. Recently I saw a few comments that weren’t full of links, so I checked to see if they might be valid comments, and I was surprised by what I found. Here’s two of them.
What i don’t realize is actually how you are no longer really a lot more well-preferred than you may be right now. You’re so intelligent.
I’m not really sure what they’re saying in the first sentence. And it’s really odd that their first sentence is so convoluted when their second sentence is so direct and to-the-point (and true).
Attractive portion of content. I merely stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I get in fact loved account your weblog posts. Anyway I will probably be subscribing to your augment and even I success you get admission to constantly rapidly.
I really have no idea what’s going on there. That sounds like it was run through one of those translators that converts it to German, then to French, back to German, and back to English, which mangles it in an incomprehensible way. 🙂 There was one of those linked to in an earlier post, but unfortunate the link no longer works. However, I still recommend reading the comments on the “that’s French for German” post — they are quite random and funny. (Yeah, I’m promoting old blog content, but it was 6 years ago, and there wasn’t nearly the daily traffic then as there is now, so some of you probably missed it. It’s also a good example of how comments can enliven a discussion.)
We like to feature unusual photos for our weekly caption contest, to make it more interesting and more random. We’ve had some really weird pictures so far, but this may be the most random one yet. I challenge you to come up with a story that comes close to being plausible. Of course, you can also make jokes or funny observations, if you don’t care to try to explain it. Most of all, have fun with it.
(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)