Tag Archives: Valentine’s Day

funny pictures, episode 17

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It’s been a while since I’ve posted funny pictures, so it’s way overdue.  Plus, the first one has relevance based on current world events, if you’ve heard about Russia’s “takeover” of Crimea (part of the Ukraine).  Then there’s the usual randomness.

That's a unique perspective on Russia's position these days...

That’s a unique perspective on Russia’s position these days…

They're right... I don't understand.  Anyone care to explain?

They’re right… I don’t understand. Anyone care to explain?

That is actually a great idea!  Granted, most people would cancel their membership instead, but the concept is great... in theory.

That is actually a great idea! Granted, most people would cancel their membership instead, but the concept is great… in theory.

That's not right... and if it was intentional, that's just mean!  I understand targeted marketing, but that's just not caring about customers...

That’s not right… and if it was intentional, that’s just mean! I understand targeted marketing, but that’s just not caring about customers…

If your sweetheart wants a puppy, and this is the type of puppy she wants, then that's many bonus points.  However, be sure she wants a dog.  I've heard stories of guys who did not understand that concept, and bringing home unwanted pets will lose you many points.

If your sweetheart wants a puppy, and this is the type of puppy she wants, then that’s many bonus points. However, be sure she wants a dog. I’ve heard stories of guys who did not understand that concept, and bringing home unwanted pets will lose you many points.

I know there are tons of iAccessories for the iPhone series, but does anyone really buy this crap?  And note how easy it is to take a $600 iPhone 5 and make it look cheap and generic.

I know there are tons of iAccessories for the iPhone series, but does anyone really buy this crap? And note how easy it is to take a $600 iPhone 5 and make it look cheap and generic.

To see more funny pictures, click on the “Funny Pictures” category in the sidebar.

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Who is Valentine’s Day for?

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Valentine's Day card - vintage, 04It’s Valentine’s Day again, and you know what that means.  This is one of those holidays with certain expectations, and it can cause great distress and disappointment in the relationship if those expectations aren’t met.  Let’s take a lighter look at that…

If you’re a man with a wife or girlfriend, you’re typically expected to buy her a nice (sappy) card, give her chocolates and roses (which are inconveniently greatly inflated in price during February), and take her on a romantic date.  These aren’t all bad things.  I’m not anti-Valentine’s Day or anything like that.  It’s good to show appreciation to your significant other, and we tend to take our loved ones for granted.  I don’t particularly like the idea of it being “forced” on a certain day, but it’s a good reminder.

So the woman in the relationship gets showered with nice stuff, like she deserves, because we cherish her.  What are the expectations going the other way?  Well, guys typically get a card, which may not mean as much as it would to a woman.  Now before you accuse me of being selfish, it’s not about that.  I don’t care about getting more gifts.  I just wonder who created these expectations and how many people are aware of how it is.  Why are they this way?  That topic is beyond the scope of this discussion, but it’s a good thinking exercise if you’re interested.

Maybe we should start some new traditions, for the guys.  What kind of affordable stuff would guys want to receive every year and which would also make them feel loved and appreciated?  (That “affordable” modifier limits the ideas, so no monster trucks or flamethrowers or tanks.  But we need to be practical, I suppose.)  For starters, how about cheese dip?  Either homemade or Stoby’s cheese dip would suffice (plus no comments about how it’s not healthy or that a tub of cheese dip is not a meal by itself).  Bacon should probably be included in this.  Maybe chicken-fried bacon for dipping in the cheese dip?  Just imagining that probably makes you gain weight…

I figure most guys would like a time of playing video games, since that time typically gets dramatically reduced when in a relationship (and more when married and even more when you have children).  This may not seem practical, since the day is about quality time in the relationship, and that’s fair.  It could be applied the next day.  Or the woman could join him in the games, if they can find something they both enjoy.  That would probably count as quality time, to him anyway.

These ideas might not fly, but that’s okay.  I can dream, right?  🙂  If you have any ideas, I’m open to suggestions.  (Your comments can be anonymous if you’re scared of getting in trouble for speaking out on this.)

Pizza Hut perfume

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pizza-hut-perfume-colognePizza Hut has released their own brand of perfume, just in time for Valentine’s Day.  Pizza Hut’s CMO said, “Eau de Pizza Hut is one of the most sought-after and rarest of scents available.”  I’ll give him rare, but “one of the most sought-after” seems somewhat embellished.  I like eating their pizza, but I’m not sure if it would be good for my wife to smell like cheese, dough, and tomato sauce all day…

When I first saw the headline, it seemed like April Fools Day — has it moved up this year?  🙂  Of course this is a promotional gimmick, and if you manage to acquire the free giveaway, it comes with a $20 gift card, which would be sought-after.  You have to tweet something specific to enter, so it will get lots of attention.  Who wouldn’t want free pizza?

By the way, if I win this, would it make an acceptable Valentine’s Day present to my wife?  She likes Pizza Hut…  🙂

Valentine’s Day, roses, and bacon

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So yesterday was Valentine’s Day.  I was wondering why people had balloons and flowers in their cars and why my wife was mad when we ate leftovers for dinner.  It may seem like a big day now, but with the passage of time, it’s just one day among thousands.  She’ll get over it.

Okay, so that’s an embellishment.  No, scratch that — it’s an utter fabrication.  I did remember the “holiday” and got my wife a mushy card and some roses and chocolate — got nice stuff, without spending a lot of money.  Some people sure are trying to rip you off this time of year!  But that’s a rant for another post.  I started this post to talk about bacon.  Yes, bacon and Valentine’s Day can go together.  Actually, I think they should.

Supposedly red roses are all romantic, but they look good for only a few days, then they wither and die a horrible death.  But what if the roses were edible and made of bacon?  Would that not be the best “roses” ever???

To me, a guy, it seems like a great idea.  But knowing women, it might be a turrible idea.  I remember I once asked a girl (who I wasn’t dating) if she would prefer roses made of chocolate, and she was adamant that it would not be a good thing.  Apparently, “someone” decided that you had to give red roses or you’re cheap and not romantic.  Hence the huge price increase on roses in February.  It sounds like a big conspiracy to me.

Anyway, about bacon roses, what do you think?

caption contest, Valentine’s Day edition

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Since today is Valentine’s Day, this week’s caption contest will feature a picture of the romantic couple variety.  But there is still plenty of room for humor in the photo (besides all the potential humor, satire, and irony of a relationship).   There is no context provided with this picture, although a few things just to mind.  So you get to figure out what’s going on here.  Here’s a few ideas to get you started: Why is he wearing a pink hat?  Why are they together?  What are they thinking?  What are their friends thinking?  What are you thinking?  You can create whatever backstory you want to set up your point or joke.  The only rules are — make it funny and keep it clean.

(To see our other caption contests, click on the “Say What?” category in the sidebar.)

Missing your ex? Call Death Bear

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Sometimes romantic relationships fail.  It’s part of life.  (Actually, if it’s not the right person for you, it’s good that it fails, even if it doesn’t feel like it for a while.)

When we’re getting over a failed relationship, we may see reminders of them that make us sad.  Now there’s a service to help you with that.  Just call “Death Bear“, and he will come remove the articles of affection that keep reminding you that your ex is gone.  He’s 7 feet tall and solid black.  He will show up at your house or apartment for your convenience, and it’s completely free.  (At this time he only covers the Brooklyn area, though.)

Death Bear looks somewhat like Darth Vader… or perhaps his teddy bear.  (Follow the link for pictures.)

I think it’s an awesome idea…  It’s funny, it’s random, and it can actually help people.

Love stinks!

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If you’ve been married for many years, you might start running out of ideas for something special to do for your wife on Valentine’s Day.  Well, some people are really good at thinking outside the box.  A farmer in Minnesota who has been married for 37 years made a heart out of manure for his wife.  But it’s not just any heart — it’s a half-mile wide!

According to the news release about it, nothing says “I love you” like a half-mile wide heart made out of manure.

On public record, his wife said it was cute.  We don’t know what was said behind closed doors when reporters weren’t around.

I’m not sure what my wife would say about a half-mile wide heart made out of manure, but “cute” probably would not be her expression of choice…  Actually, she came in while I was posting this, and her official response was “I don’t want one”.